A Pair
by NightlyBlueDemons
Summary: When someone makes an assumption about Penny and Sheldon's relationship they realise more that they thought possible! A Shenny Story!
1. Chapter 1

_Hello! Right, so here's my first attempt at a longer story. Bit more of a challenge that the one-shots I'm used to. Hope you enjoy it! Thanks for reading._

_I own nothing._

_**Chapter 1**_

'Sheldon Cooper'! came the loud shout from across the hall.

The tenor of Penny's voice caused the two men sitting on the sofa in Sheldon's and Leonard's apartment to slide down in their seats in fear. As if they were attempting to reduce their size in the hopes they would remain un-noticed.

Moments later the door flew open, banging on its hinges. Framed in the doorway was Penny, blonde hair flying everywhere.

'Penny?' exclaimed Leonard in confusion from where he had appeared in the corridor from his bedroom.

'Where is he?' Penny raged, marching across the room.

Leonard blocked her path in an attempt to pacify her, 'He's not here', he explained.

He had barely spoken when the man himself came through the front door.

Following Leonards line of sight, Penny rounded on Sheldon, who paled considerably to see her there.

'Penny, we have company' Leonard tried to mutter to her, still desperately trying to diffuse the situation. Brushing him off she strode up to Sheldon her finger pointing at him in accusatory way.

'You've crossed the line this time Sheldon Lee Cooper. You went too far!' Penny said, her voice shaking in anger.

Sheldon's face broke out into an evil smirk.

'I told you Penny, you mess with Sheldor at your peril' he said plainly.

'Don't push me Sheldon, I know how to play dirty. How do you think your Mother would feel know what her beloved child had done?'

At that statement Sheldon's face changed dramatically.

'You wouldn't, not again'

'Oh I would' said Penny, her evil smirk echoing Sheldon's from earlier.

Penny strode purposefully from the apartment to look for her cell phone, while silently cursing that if she had followed the tidying schedule Sheldon had created for her she would find it a lot faster.

Sheldon stood frozen with a mixture of shock, fear and indecision for a few moments before he scurried after her leaving the remaining occupants of the room alone again.

'Yeh, so that was Penny and Sheldon', Leonard chuckle nervously. So far his plan to expand their group wasn't going the way he had imagined.

The two small scientists smiled weakly at Leonard as he busied around them, setting them up with drinks and snacks before they started playing Halo.

When Raj and Howard arrived 15 minutes later they were somewhat perplexed at the strange whimpering noise coming from Penny's apartment.

'Hey, what's going on at Penny's,' Raj spoke up as soon as he was in the safety of a male only environment.

'Not sure', Leonard sighed, 'I think Sheldon pulled some kind of prank, which Penny got mad over and then threatened to call his mom'.

'Oooh, low blow' breathed Howard, 'you don't mess with the mommas'.

Purposefully ignoring Howard's attempt at 'gangsta talk' (as he called it), Leonard considered what Sheldon might have done to make Penny so mad.

He couldn't remember a time he'd seen her so angry.

In fear of directing Sheldon's wrath the boys and the two potential friends decided to wait for Sheldon before they started their game. They didn't have to wait long before Penny and Sheldon walked back into the apartment. Penny looking triumphant and Sheldon like a school-boy who had just been told off – which Leonard realised was probably true.

At Sheldon's insistence they ate before they played and during dinner the newest acquaintance, Brian, asked Sheldon a question that floored the entire group.

'So how long have you and Penny been going out?'


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks for the reviews. Here is the next chapter, slightly longer now I'm getting into the swing of things. Hope you enjoy it!_

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><p><em><strong>Chapter 2<strong>_

_Previously;_

_At Sheldon's insistence they ate before they played and during dinner the newest acquaintance, Brian, asked Sheldon a question that floored the entire group._

'_So how long have you and Penny been going out?'_

'What?' exclaimed Leonard, his voice taking on a high pitched tone, 'they aren't going out. No, never', he attempted to affirm.

Looking around the room at the stunned faces, Brian couldn't help but feel as if he had uttered the ultimate taboo.

Brian Cox had been fairly sure that aside from the friends that his mother constantly assured him he needed he was pretty set in the friends department. But when Leonard Hofstadter had approached him in the cafeteria the day before he had thought to himself that there may have been an opening. Leonard seemed, unlike him, eagerly attempting to expand his social circle and Brian didn't have the heart to turn him down. He remembered all to well his years at school when he would have cut off his right arm for an invitation to play video games with a person who was not a family member (and therefore obligated to ask).

So the next day Brian found himself looking forward to the evening of good times and video games. That was until he met Leonard's other friends in the cafeteria. He decided then that he might require some support and roped in his college, Winston Parry, to come with him.

They had not been seated in the flat long before Penny had marched in, eyes wild.

'No, no, no' said Howard, as if he was explaining the ways of the world to a 6 yr old, 'if anyone, Penny would be going out with me'.

Penny and Leonard's simultaneous shouts of 'No' broke Sheldon from his shock induced stupor.

'Sorry' Brian back-peddled, 'I just assumed you where a pair' he said, gesturing at Penny and Sheldon.

'I assure you, that while I am the most suitable mate within our social group, Penny and I have never engaged in coitus' Sheldon felt the need to explain.

'What have I told you about that word, Sheldon' barked Penny milliseconds later. Sheldon looked almost apologetic for a moment before his attention was drawn by Leonard.

'What do you mean you're the most suitable 'mate'' he said, using finger quotes, 'if anything, I'm the most suitable'.

'Leonard, Leonard' Sheldon said, with the mocking tone of patience he was prone to using, 'your disabilities in terms of height, intelligence and inability to eat dairy do not make you a most suitable mate. Not to mention your recognisable ineffective-ness should the world ever be invaded by aliens, zombies or a robot army'.

'How do you know I would be ineffective?' Leonard grouched.

'You where always picked last for sports, therefore you possess no recognisable athletic skills that would be required in running away or fighting'.

'So were you!' Leonard pointed out scathingly.

'That is true' said Sheldon in full on lecture mode, 'but I am also a native Texan and therefore know how to accurately fire a rifle. A most desirable quality in a male, or so I've read'.

'What about Raj or Howard?' pestered Leonard, in a last ditch attempt.

'You know full well that Raj cannot even utter one syllable to Penny and every syllable Howard blathers revolves around some kind of sexual innuendo. Neither which are qualities that I believe Penny would find desirable in a mate'.

Leonard didn't have a comeback after that. Raj and Howard where still sitting in shock and Penny had carried on eating, enjoying the silence the shock had induced in the latter.

'Huh' chuckled Penny, 'you know, that actually makes sense. What do you say Sheldon?'

The immediate panic on Sheldon's face was exactly the reaction she wanted. He won't mess with me in a hurry again she thought with an evil giggle.

In fact, looking around she seemed to have provoked the reaction in all of the room's occupants (baring Winston and Brian, the latter who looked mildly amused).

When Sheldon looked as if he might hyperventilate Penny took pity on him.

'I was only joking sweetie' she said, placing her hand on his leg, causing him to jump up wildly from his spot.

After Sheldon had been calmed sufficiently to sit down again the evening passed along normally, as if no-one had made such an outrageous comment.

Naturally, Sheldon and Penny won. Penny considered that while there was no chance in hell they would be together romantically, they were definitely destined to be Halo partners. None could match Sheldon's strategy and her ruthlessness. As per usual the rest of the boys spent the rest of the evening sulking in defeat as Penny and Sheldon gloated.

At 11:30pm Penny decided to call it a night, as she had an audition in the morning. She needed to look fresh-faced as she was going to be trying out for a part that required a 20yr old; she was going to have to look her best.

She was just about to get into bed when there was a knock on her door.

Knock, knock.

'Penny'

Knock, knock.

'Penny'

Knock, knock.

'Penny'.

'Who is it?' asked Penny in a sing-song voice.

'It's Sheldon' he replied, either not hearing or not understanding her sarcasm.

'What do you want Sheldon? I'm trying to sleep' she asked irritably as she opened the door, having not quite forgiven him for earlier.

'I have given the matter a great deal of thought and have come to the conclusion that my initial analysis of our social group was correct and with your best interests in mind I have decided that I will allow you to date me. It will provide me with the ideal opportunity to undertake an experiment in terms of how…..'

Sheldon didn't have a chance to finish is his sentence as he was now reeling backwards after the door had impacted on his nose. That did not go as expected he mused from his position on the floor.

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><p>What a colossal waste of time, thought Penny as she trudged up the stairs to her apartment. She had feigned illness at work today so she could get off early to go to her audition. It was all the way across on the other side of the city, and by the time she had got there the part had already been given to some stick thin, wisp of a girl, who looked barely legal.<p>

All she wanted to do was get into her bath with a bottle of wine and mull over the tip money she had lost this afternoon.

Although what she wanted and what she got where naturally not seeing eye to eye. When she reached the 2nd floor she nearly tripped over Sheldon who was sitting forlornly on the stairs.

'What's going on Sheldon?'

As Penny sat down next to him she felt a twinge of guilt as she saw the bruising around his nose. She hadn't meant to hurt him. Well, she hadn't meant to hurt him that much.

'Leonard has once again violated our room-mate agreement and without prior written warning, has evicted me from our apartment. He didn't even allow me to retrieve my laptop. He has my laptop Penny' he said, his eyes a little wild.

'What did you do this time?'

'Nothing!' Sheldon exclaimed, 'I merely explained, when asked, why I had a bruised nose'.

Groaning ever so slightly, Penny realised what must have happened. Sheldon had explained in his somewhat innocent way, that he had suggested that he go out with her and Leonard had not taken it well. Considering the way he had taken to his friend Brian assuming that her and Sheldon where already going out, it was no surprise that Sheldon's declaration had driven him over the edge.

The thought irritated Penny no end. What right did he have to dictate who she was allowed to go out with? He had taken this spurned ex-boyfriend thing too far now.

Rising to her feet, Penny dragged Sheldon up and pulled him up the stairs. Gripping his hand firmly in hers she pointedly ignored his squirming, holding on tighter the more he attempted to pull away.

Reaching 4A Penny attempted to open the door.

'He locked it' Sheldon whined.

'Leonard! Leonard!' Shouted Penny, hammering on the door with her free hand, 'Leonard, you open this door right now'.

'What?' came the petulant reply, the door opening a crack, the safety chain still on.

'Leonard, I'm going to speak very slowly and clearly. You may be a scientist and have a PHD but you are clearly pretty dense when it comes to people. I have had a really crappy day, and all I wanted to do when I came home was have a bath and drown my sorrows in a cheap bottle of wine. Instead I find Sheldon sitting on the stairs like a lost puppy, saying you had kicked him out cos he made the mistake of being honest with you'.

'He asked you to be his girlfriend' Leonard huffed.

Penny's eyes narrowed at his interruption.

'Leonard', she hissed, 'let me make this clear. You have absolutely no say in who asks me out or who I go out with. You lost that right when you called me stupid. When I first came here I felt like I was a child amongst all you geniuses, but now I see that I'm the only real adult here. I can't even have a proper argument with you, cos you won't open the damn door. Open the door Leonard', she repeated, 'or I'll go all junior rodeo on your arse, and you know I can!'

Penny saw the momentary hesitation on his face, which was wedged in the gap between the door and the frame, before he came to a decision.

'No' he said, 'Sheldon has gone too far. He's betrayed me' and with that the door slammed in Penny's face. Incensed she was about to carry on her rant through the closed door when she caught sight of Sheldon's stricken face.

'No-one informed me of this rule. It wasn't in the agreement. He should have brought this to my attention when he first signed it. What am I going to do Penny? All my belongings are in there. He could be looking though my comics!'

The sudden thought had him flailing at the door, hollering Leonard's name once again.

Fed up with the both of them, Penny began to back away as quietly as she could, quickly inserting her key into the lock and opening her door, the sounds of which were masked by Sheldon's calls. When her apartment door was shut behind her she breathed a sigh of relief, maybe the wine and bath was still on the cards.

Walking to her fridge, she retrieved the bottle of wine she had put there this morning, gagging slightly at the smell that meant she had let something go off again.

After the first glass and now up to her neck in bubbles she began to feel the tension leave her. Of course though, the moment she closed her eyes she heard the predictable 3 knocks echo throughout the apartment. She squeezed her eyes shut in a vain hope that he would give up and go away. 4 rounds of knocks later it seemed as if that was too much to hope, although she had kinda already realised that since he had nowhere else to go.

Rising from the tub and wrapping a towel around her, she trailed wet footprints out into her living room and opened the door.

Sheldon's shock at her appearance was clear. So much so that he didn't even complete his cycle of knocks.

'Are you coming in or not Sheldon? My bath is getting cold'.

Blushing beet red, Sheldon proceeded through the door which Penny then shut behind him.

Unbeknownst to the both of them were the stunned faces of Raj and Howard who had just walked up the stairs. As they knocked on the locked door of 4B, they made the silent decision that it was probably for the best that Leonard didn't know Sheldon had just been let in to 4B by a scantily clad, soapy Penny.

Not even bothering to glance at him, Penny made her way back to her wine and bath. Sinking back into to the warm water Penny sighed to herself, the boys where as bad as some of her girlfriends when it came to bitch fights.

As Penny sipped her second glass of wine there was a triple knock on her bathroom door.

'What is it now Sheldon? I'm trying to relax'.

'That may well be, but ingesting alcohol will only simulate you, not relax you' he lectured through the door, 'besides, you need to finish your bath now, I require the use of your lavatory'.

'Sheldon' Penny whined, half-heartedly. There was no point arguing, she knew from experience that he would not leave her alone.

Partially drying herself and wrapping her hair in a towel she opened the bathroom door to find Sheldon waiting surprisingly patiently behind it.

'It's all yours Sheldon' she said, brushing past him.

When he emerged a couple of minutes later Penny was sitting on her bed applying moisturiser on her legs; her usual post-rubbish audition ritual, to make her feel better about herself.

Wringing his hands together self consciously and blushing slightly, Sheldon wasn't sure what to do with himself.

'What am I to do Penny?' he questioned, while mentally considering the pros and cons of calling his mother. Although after listing through the pros he came to the decision that he's nearly 30 and should be able to take care of himself. Even if that meant deciding he'd prefer Penny's help over his mothers.

'Well I was going to watch a movie' Penny murmured, with her relaxation cycle almost complete, she now felt positively drowsy.

'I didn't mean in the next couple of hours Penny. I have been made homeless. Where am I going to sleep tonight?'

Sighing, Penny resigned herself to the fact that once again Sheldon had been forced upon her. She knew exactly where he was going to sleep tonight, and where she was too. That irritating rhyme still plagued her, and she knew she would inevitably be forced to sleep on the couch.

'Sheldon, we're going to order take-out, watch a movie of my choosing and then go to sleep. That's the plan in 4B. If you don't like it well there's the door' she said gesturing towards the front door.

'It's Thai night' Sheldon piped up, he mood brightened slightly at the thought of Thai food.

'You order the food then and I'll pick the film' she said rising from her bed and assessing her modest collection that if she was honest where mainly chick-flicks.

Wickedly she picked Sex in the City: The Movie, mainly so she could watch Sheldon squirm at the sex scenes.

Half-an-hour into the film Sheldon had begun pointedly staring at the floor. The scene with Samantha Jones's delicious new neighbour had proved too much for him, Penny observed with glee.

'Have some of this, it'll make you feel less embarrassed' Penny urged passing Sheldon a glass of wine.

'Penny' he said, somewhat mockingly, 'while I agree that alcohol has several chemicals that lower a person's so-called inhibitions, I seriously doubt that it would have the same affect on me.'

'Go on, you're day has been nearly as bad as mine. Call it an experiment. See how the other half live when they want to drown their sorrows!'

Sheldon hesitated for a moment, before reaching for the glass.

'Blegh'! He spluttered like a teenager tasting wine for the first time, 'how can you drink that? It tastes vile'.

'You get used to it' Penny said, draining her glass.

Another hour later and Penny was almost certain Sheldon had fallen asleep. His head had lolled slightly to the side and every now and then he would twitch slightly, muttering softly. Penny was sure she caught the words 'nobel prize' and 'Kripke' a couple of times.

Not quite able to believe it, Penny turned off her TV and tiptoed into her bedroom. Slipping into her sheets she giggled quietly at how annoyed he was going to be when he woke in the morning. She felt as if she had won.

That feeling didn't last long.

Penny was just dozing off when she heard Sheldon wake-up suddenly. His shout of 'Danger' jolted her from her slumber. Squinting through her lashes into her apartment's living room she saw Sheldon stand up and twist his head around, easing the ache he must be feeling from sleeping at awkward angle.

He approached the entrance to her bedroom and with a silent groan to herself, Penny realised he was assessing how he was going to go about changing places with her.

'Penny' came the strangled whisper, 'Penny, Penny'.

Feigning sleep, Penny ignored him. She continued to ignore him the next 6 times he whispered her name, his voice getting louder and louder.

Stubbornly, Penny continued to ignore him. It wasn't till he came into her bedroom that she tensed. She could hear him softly muttering to himself. Worryingly, it sounded suspiciously like his rhyme again.

'There's no room for my big Cornish head...'

Penny had to stifle a gasp as she felt the other side of her bed dip with his weight and a moment later she felt the warmth of him lying next to her. He sighed and then apparently entered his weird sleeping trance.

_Oh my god_, thought Penny hurriedly, _Sheldon is sleeping on my bed__– with me. Trust him to not even think about the implications. He probably doesn't realise what he's got himself into,_she thought wickedly. Penny had been told many times by men who had shared her bed that she moved and fidgeted constantly. Not to mention that she always managed to wrap herself around her bed-mate like a vine in the morning. As she fell asleep a grin spread across her face imagining Sheldon's reaction in the morning.

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><p>Penny was woken the next day when her pillow tensed beneath her. Slowly regaining consciousness she realised her evil prediction had come true. She was twined around Sheldon's surprisingly large body; their legs and arms tangled and her head resting in the crook of his shoulder.<p>

Grinning to herself, she pretended to still be asleep and snuggled deeper into him. Her movement sprung him into action and he jumped out of the bed so rapidly that Penny went flying. Unable to stop herself she tumbled off the edge of the bed and into a heap of covers on her bedroom floor.

'Sheldon' she growled, her head spinning slightly. But looking up, he was already gone and seconds later she saw her apartment door slamming behind him and then repeated banging on the apartment door across the hall.

'I win' Penny chirped happily, crawling back beneath the covers on her bed and dozing off.

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><p><em>Thanks for reading. Please review. Points for anyone who noticed my little tribute to an epic English Physicist!<em>

_For anyone who is interested below is the full rhyme that Sheldon quotes in Season 2 Episode 21._

_**There was a tall man from Cornwall  
>Whose length exceeded his bed.<br>"My body fits on it  
>But barely upon it<br>There's no room for my big Cornish head!"**_

_**- E. M. Snickering, "The Tall Man from Cornwall"**_


	3. Chapter 3

_Hi everyone! Apologies for the delay in updating, My only excuse is that I'm currently moving house (anyone who has done will understand the madness and stress it entails) and I've been really busy at work at the moment. I hope you enjoy the next instalment of this story and fyi next chapters for my other stories are in the pipeworks!_

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

'The gang are here' Bernadette's small sweet voice broke through Penny's thoughts as she rung a bill up on the till at The Cheesecake Factory.

'You want me to take them?' questioned Penny looking over at Bernadette's busy section.

At Bernadette's grateful reply, Penny grabbed her notepad and made her way over to her friends.

'No Brian, and that other guy tonight?' she greeted.

'Winston Parry' Sheldon commented blandly, his eyes not even moving from the menu.

'They both liked the first Hulk movie' Howard stated in a way as if the fact alone proved they where no longer worth knowing.

'Not to worry Bestie, I don't follow their distrust of media preferences for selecting associates either' Amy contributed.

Shaking her head in amusement Penny proceeded to take down the groups orders.

'Where's Leonard?' Penny asked, finally noticing that he was not sat in his usual seat.

The boys (baring the oblivious Sheldon) exchanged a hesitant look before Howard explained.

'Pryia is in town for the weekend'

'Oh'

Penny had a momentary flash back to a couple of nights ago when Leonard had stubbornly refused Sheldon entry to his apartment on the grounds that he had been betrayed. Penny wasn't sure if she should be offended or happy that he had apparently forgotten her so quickly.

Shaking off the thoughts she told her friends their food would be ready soon, and was walking away when Sheldon piped up.

'Penny!' he exclaimed, the first words spoken to her since he had woken in her bed two days ago, 'you haven't taken my order!'

'Bacon and cheese burger with fries, hold the gherkins; Lemonade in a tall glass with a straw and umbrella; Chocolate cheesecake with one scoop of room temperature ice-cream. All prepared under my supervision and while wearing gloves and a face mask. Did I get that right sweetie?' Penny replied, a slight hint of sarcasm in her tone.

Howard barely contained a snort at her sharp words, and even Raj cracked a smile.

Sheldon could only shift with irritation as Penny carried on walking away from the table to ring up their order.

Penny's shift was relatively uneventful after the guys left; that is if you ignore the kid that puked up on her and the guy that had to be thrown out for slapping the bum's of more than one waitress. She only had 20 minutes left when Amy appeared back in the restaurant and walked up to the bar where Penny was serving the last of the nights customers.

'Hi Bestie' she said, sitting down heavily, placing her purse neatly beside her.

'What's up Amy?' As she spoke, Penny began wiping down the bar, there where hardly any customers left and Penny was hoping she'd be able to slip out early.

'I realise that this a situation that a luscious person such as yourself will not have come across before but I find that Sheldon has been even more resilient with his no touching rule in the last 48 hours'

'What's he done now?' Penny sighed.

'That's just the point, Penny. He has not done anything. I'm hungry for some lovin'

Penny couldn't help but wince slightly at Amy's over share.

'He's got worse then?'

'When we returned to his apartment after our meal earlier he wouldn't even permit me to sit beside him on the couch while we watched a re-run of Galaxy Quest and yesterday while at work he tripped over a box and bruised his lower vertebrae while trying to get away from me when I suggested we hug'

'I don't know what to suggest Amy. If you wanted a boyfriend who gave you some 'lovin' you picked the wrong guy'

'I know bestie. I was hoping you could provide we with some advice, as your womanly wiles cannot fail to attract every available man and woman in the vicinity'

'Amy..' Penny cringed, avoiding eye contact with her uncomfortable friend.

'Let me make this clearer. I wish you to teach me how to seduce Sheldon' Amy commanded, looking hopeful.

'Amy' Penny stopped cleaning to look up at the desperate woman, 'I don't think Sheldon can be seduced. In all the time I've know him, I've never seen him show any interest in women or men. You know what he's like'

'But with your advice I'm sure to succeed! Please Penny' she said a little desperately.

Penny toyed with the idea quickly, despite it making her distinctly uncomfortable, she could understand what Amy was feeling. But the idea of teaching someone, with the ultimate goal of having sex with Sheldon, seemed somehow perverted and wrong. Although Amy, despite her borderline disturbing compliments, had a good heart and Penny wanted her to be happy.

'Okay' Penny sighed in agreement.

Amy actually squealed in response. A reaction Penny was certain she never wanted to see from Amy again, the noise joined with the blank expression on her face, made a disconcerting image.

'Shall we begin now? We could go back to your apartment and you could teach me the intricacies of French kissing'

'Woah, Amy!' Penny almost shouted, 'we're just gonna be talking, no demonstrations'

'As you wish' Amy replied, visibly disappointed, 'I'm sure I could never keep up with your technique anyway'

'Penny, when you've finished washing down you're free to go' interrupted Penny's supervisor. Thankfully for the excuse, she moved away from the bar and finished up cleaning the tables in her section.

She zoned out while she wiped down and collected the remaining cutlery, only coming back into the room when she heard Amy proudly announce to Bernadette that Penny was going to 'teach her the art of seduction'.

After Bernadette had shot her a look of sympathy and a quick goodbye, Penny and Amy left the restaurant and made their way to Penny's car.

It was late when Penny finally got back to her apartment after dropping Amy off with the promise that they would start lessons the following afternoon.

Penny was too tired to eat and after changing into shorts and a tank top fell into bed and was sleep almost immediately.

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><p>When Penny first became aware that she was no longer dreaming she was confused as to what had woken her. Moments later however, that question was answered by three knocks and then her name.<p>

Dragging herself from her bed, glancing at the clock in the living room, Penny swung open her front door in irritation.

'Do you know what time it is Sheldon?' she hissed.

'3.34am' he replied, looking surprisingly as tired as she was.

'If you know the time, then what the hell are you doing at my door?'

'Pryia and Leonard have been engaging in coitus since we returned from The Cheesecake factory and it has now reached the point where my noise-cancelling headphones are having no effect'

'Sheldon, I've told you not to use that word, I'm…..' she paused, 'Oh my god! You can hear them from here!'

'My point precisely' came the weary reply. Looking up into his face, Penny couldn't help but notice the dark circles under his eyes and uncomfortable flush across his cheeks. Loud sex was Sheldon's worst nightmare.

'Can't you go to Amy's?' Penny suggested hopefully.

'You really wish for your close friend and brilliant mind that is Dr Sheldon Cooper to take the bus downtown at 3.36am in the morning' he said, consulting his watch.

'No' Penny said, in a small, chastised voice, 'come in'

'Just like before Sheldon; the couch, the bed or the floor. Your choice' she said, having already turned her back and shuffled towards her warm bed.

Snuggling down into the covers, she was surprised when he accepted her conditions without argument and moments later the bed sunk next to her under his weight. He must be exhausted, she thought sleepily.

She drifted back to sleep almost instantly, with the sound of even breathing beside her.

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><p>The second time Penny woke with Sheldon in her bed was a tad more shocking than the first. The last time it had been her that was wrapped around him – this time it was the opposite way round.<p>

What Penny was first aware of was that there was a long, heavy arm draped around her middle, she was then aware of a warm body pressed against her, and then the sensation of something distinctly hard and male pressed against her lower back.

She had a moment of confusion. Did I go home with someone last night? Before the memory of her night-time visitor came back to her.

The memory gave her a start when she put the two together. It was Sheldon that was spooning her; it was Sheldon's arm and body that was wrapped around her and most importantly, it was Sheldon that was quite obviously aroused as he was pressed up against her.

Quietly she attempted to extract herself from his embrace, only to find that every move she made to get away only tightened his grasp.

Seeing no alternative, she gave him a gentle nudge.

'Sheldon? Sweetie? Can you let me go?' she whispered quietly, wanting to prevent his 'danger danger' reaction, totally not in the mood to be flung out of bed.

He only muttered in response, still asleep. Wriggling a bit more energetically, trying to get free, released an entirely different response from him. He groaned a hot breath past her ear. Not a sleepy groan, but a 'your bum is wriggling against my hard on' groan. The noise caused Penny to freeze.

What do you know? Turn's out Pinocchio's a real boy.

Positive that Sheldon was gonna turn all shades of red when he realised what was going on, Penny shook him hard and all but shouted his name.

'Sheldon! Let me go!'

He started awake immediately, his first reaction to grasp even tighter.

'Sweetie' Penny wheezed.

The speed at which he released her gave her a head rush as the oxygen flooded back into her lungs.

He sat up in bed quickly, obviously intending to flee the room like last time, before he registered his very male predicament.

His blush was probably the most magnificent Penny had seen on him. The flush reached all the way down his arms to the tops of his hands.

'It's okay sweetie, it's perfectly natural' she soothed, as she rose and moved into the living room to give him a moment of privacy.

Busying herself in the kitchen making coffee, it was probably about five minutes later that she heard the toilet flush and Sheldon emerge from her bedroom.

'I've made you tea' she smiled, raising her head from the magazine she had been flitting through as some pancakes cooked on the grill.

He stood in her bedroom door way looking like a 14 year old boy that had just been caught jerking off. The epitome of shame and embarrassment.

'I wish to apologise for the unfortunate bodily weakness you where forced to witness' he stumbled, his hands wringing together.

'I did more than witness it sweetie, I felt it' she teased, and then regretted as his expression turned to utter humiliation.

'Sweetie, it's okay' she pacified, coming up to stand next him, her hand instinctively resting on his arm in comfort, 'like I said before, it's a perfectly natural male reaction'

'Not for me' he argued, looking angry at himself.

'Apparently it is'

Crossing his arms and shrugging off her touch he only harrumphed in reply.

As he did, they heard the sound of a door opening on the landing. Springing over to her front door, Sheldon crouched to peer through the peep hole.

'It would appear the mating is over' he observed, as Penny turned off the gas ring and plated up the pancakes.

Looking back over at the food that had been placed out for him and then the front door, Sheldon had a moment of hesitation.

'Want some pancakes sweetie?'

'No thank you' he decided 'today is oatmeal day. Thank you for providing me with a sanctuary from the nocturnal rituals of my flatmate'

'You're welcome sweetie' replied Penny as she slide the remaining pancakes onto her plate as he left the apartment, shutting the door quietly behind him.

She had nearly finished her pancakes a little while later when a knock came at her door.

'It's open' Penny called cheerfully.

'I'm here to learn how to give Sheldon an erection' Amy bluntly announced as she walked in, causing Penny to choke on her food.

* * *

><p><em>Please review. Hopefully that last scene wasn't too crass!<em>


	4. Chapter 4

_Hello everyone! Thanks for the lovely reviews – although I always want more!_

_dancingt21 – the story is set at a fictional point in series 4 where Sheldon is still adamant that Amy is his friend who just happens to be a girl and not his 'girlfriend', although this would be after Amy kissed him. Howard and Bernadette are on the precipice of getting engaged, Leonard's at Pryia's beck & call and Raj is just Raj. So ultimately Amy is doing her best to get her and Sheldon's relationship to the next level._

**Chapter 4**

_Previously_

_She had nearly finished her pancakes a little while later when a knock came at her door._

'_It's open' Penny called cheerfully._

'_I'm here to learn how to give Sheldon an erection' Amy bluntly announced as she walked in, causing Penny to choke on her food._

XoX

'Forgive me Penny' Amy stated as Penny recovered, 'I had assumed that with your extensive experience you would be accustomed to anatomical vernacular'

'Enough with the 'extensive experience' shrilled Penny, dumping the plates in the sink.

'It is because of your extensive experience that I have come to you Penny. Well that and your undeniable feminine charms that lure me in every time' Amy droned, perching on Penny's couch, 'my hopes are that our lesson today will provide me with the necessary skills to provoke sexual arousal in Sheldon. Thus causing him to lose control and take me with animal passion'

Penny shuddered at the mental image she portrayed and slumped down on her armchair, resigned too her fate.

'How do we begin?' asked Amy expectantly.

Penny quickly considered before answering.

'Amy, have you ever kissed Sheldon?'

'You are aware that I have. It was the night of the 'great vomiting of 09''

'What was his reaction?' Penny questioned, genuinely curious.

'He said, and I directly quote here, 'fascinating''

'And that was all?' prompted Penny, leaning forward as she spoke, 'did he kiss back or lean into you or anything like that?'

'None of the above. I leaned forward, kissed him for approximately 2.5 seconds, retracted and then proceeded to vomit my entire days consumption of food and alcohol all over my bathroom floor'

'Nice!' came the pained reply.

'Would that be considered a bad thing? That he showed no interest in pursuing the liaison further'

'Well' Penny said, chewing on her lip thoughtfully, 'for a normal guy I would say yes, but with Sheldon… I've known him for nearly four years now and I've never seen him show any interest in a woman'

'You mean you are unsure whether he is capable of arousal?'

Penny had an immediate flash-back to the incident in her bed this morning at Amy's words. The thought made her feel almost guilty. Sheldon did get aroused; she had been witness to that fact.

'Amy, I think the best thing to do would be to kiss him again and then ask him if he enjoyed it'

'Conduct an experiment you mean?'

It wasn't what Penny had meant but she went with it.

'Sure. You need to find out if Sheldon is attracted to you' as she spoke Amy's eyes gleamed with the prospect of an experiment on human behaviours.

'What happens if he isn't bestie?' her usual stoic voice suddenly taking on a vulnerable tone.

'Amy honey, sometimes that just happens. The person you like doesn't like you back'

There was silence for a moment while Amy absorbed that information. As strange as this woman was Penny did not like the idea of Sheldon putting her down, should he act like usual and run away from any physical intimacy. She would have to have a talk with him before Amy got to him, she thought. Especially now she knew he was part man underneath all that science; a man in denial. Nothing new there then, she smirked to herself.

'I will implement this plan asap then Penny and report back to you with my findings, although I am confident they will be met with success. No-one can resist these hips!'

'That's good sweetie' replied a distracted Penny, who was already mentally running through her work schedule, trying to work out when she could have a word with the crazy wackadoodle.

Amy left sooner after, a look of determination in her eyes.

XoX

'Hello' Sheldon said shortly, momentarily confused at why Amy Farrah-Fowler was standing at his office door mid-afternoon.

'Why are you here?' he questioned, looking back down at the work in front of him.

'I am conducting an experiment' she replied robotically. Walking around the outside of his desk, she stopped at his side. Reaching down she grasped his chin with her left hand, turning him to her and planted her lips on his in a hard, quick gesture, while her other hand reached down into his lap.

Instantly his hands roughly pushed her away by the shoulders, the movement causing his wheelie chair to fly backwards and for him to go over with it.

Laying in a heap on the floor he stared up at her in shock and anger.

'Have you taken leave of your senses?' he shouted, seething.

'Not at all, I am merely trying to ascertain if my kissing you incited any arousal on your part?'

Scrambling to his feet, he flung open his desk drawer, and took out a pack of wet wipes and a bottle each of hand sanitizer and mouth wash. He quickly wiped his mouth and lips with the wet wipe as Amy looked on in confusion.

'What on Earth possessed you to do such a thing?' the Texas accent in his voice leaking though, something that Amy had observed occurred when he was uncomfortable.

'Penny told me it would be the best way to determine if I could arouse you'

'Penny' he hissed, his eyes flaring, 'I should have know'

'Are you sexually aroused?' Amy persisted, reaching into her bag for a notepad and pen, so she could take notes.

The withering look he gave her in reply along with the harsh words seemed to give the answer.

'I think it would be best if you remove yourself from my presence' he said coldly.

She was almost out of the door, the picture of defeat, when he added, 'I would also prefer if you did not attend the social gathering tonight'

Nodding, Amy shuffled back to her office, passing a baffled Raj on the way.

'Dude, what did you do to Amy?' He asked as he walked in to Sheldon's office. But he got no reply as Sheldon rushed past him towards the bathroom, mouth wash and toothbrush in hand.

XoX

That evening the boys had planned a movie marathon and take-away night. As much as Penny wasn't going to enjoy an evening with Priya, the free food she was certain she could scrounge was definitely worth it.

It was just after five when Penny was jolted from where she was dozing on her couch, flicking though channels on her tv.

'Penny' came the shout from the other side of her front door, followed by three bangs (not knocks).

'Woah, Sheldon, what the hell?' she said, as she opened the door.

But he hadn't completed his cycle. So he continued, his hand slamming into the door that was now half open. All the while his eyes never left hers, the effect was surprisingly intimidating.

'Do you know what I have spent the whole afternoon doing Penny?' almost shouting in a tone of complete condescension. Not waiting for her to answer he continued.

'I have had to disinfect my mouth and face in the deeply unsanitary conditions of the university's bathroom. I had to do this nothing short of 3 times, before I was satisfied. And do you know why Penny?'

'Why?' she asked, baffled by his every word.

'Because Penny, you felt the need to once again encourage Amy Farrah-Fowler to encroach on my personal boundaries and inflict unwanted attention on my person!'

'Shit' uttered Penny, under her breath. Amy had gotten to Sheldon before she did. She had fully planned to give Sheldon a 'heads up'. She had never expected Amy to do anything about it the university, and now she was too late. The damage was done.

'Well' he snapped crossing his arms, 'What have you got to say for yourself?

'Sorry?' she tried, doing her best puppy-dog expression.

'That may work on lesser men Penny, but not me'

Sighing, Penny stepped out of the way of the doorway and he walked inside, sitting down on her couch.

'Amy came to me, because she wanted to have a more…' here Penny paused, trying to find a suitable word, '..physical relationship with you'

'And you suggested she walk up and molest me?' he growled, a sound which shocked the hell out of her for a second.

'Not exactly..' Penny grimaced, hiding her face in her hands. Why did he have to be so difficult?

'She didn't….She didn't know if…She wanted you to…'she stumbled.

'Please refrain from stuttering'

'Damn it Sheldon, she wanted to know if she could give you a hard-on' Penny bluntly rushed out and then her face turned beet red in embarrassment.

'Excuse me?' Sheldon said coolly.

'She wasn't happy with where you were in the relationship and she was trying to take it to the next level?

'Which would be?' he asked, genuinely not following.

'Sex, Sheldon' she said, as he reeled back.

He was actually shocked for a moment, not considering that this is where Amy had been trying to make the situation go.

'Everything was fine' he finally whined, 'then you had to go and stick your nose in my business and ruin everything'

'Hey!' Penny exclaimed, rising from the couch, 'this was always gonna happen. When you have a girlfriend you have to show them a little attention!'

'How many times to I have to reiterate this point!' Sheldon hissed, his hands clenching on his thighs, 'Amy Farrah-Fowler is my friend, who just happens to be a girl. Not my girlfriend'

His words stopped Penny short. All this time she, and the guys, had just thought that he was in some stage of denial. But after having Amy throw herself at him, he was still adamant she was just his friend.

'Sheldon' Penny attempted to clarify, 'why don't you want to kiss Amy?'

'I'm not attracted to her'

'Oh' came Penny's small reply, before questioning further, 'Have you ever been attracted to a woman?'

'Oh course' he said simply, 'I pride myself in being able to rise above such base urges, but I'm still a man Penny'

'Yeh, you are' she replied slowly, as if realising the fact for the first time.

Getting more comfortable on the couch and leaning forward unconsciously as information about her intensely private friend was coming to light, she pried further.

'So when you said 'fascinating' after Amy kissed you…?'

'I was merely commenting to myself on the effect of being kissed by someone I did not desire' he finished.

Ignoring the weirdness of hearing Sheldon say the word 'desire' Penny was stunned that Sheldon had this side to him. Obviously, she been somewhat aware since sharing a bed with him, but to hear him say the words, instead of blushing and escaping in embarrassment was a surprise.

'I'm sorry for getting Amy to kiss you' she said finally, looking up into his expectant face.

'Apology accepted' he said, so arrogantly that Penny was forced to roll her eyes.

'I'm hungry now' he stated, and with that rose from his seat and made his way from the apartment, 'aren't you coming?' he asked as he got to the door when she didn't move.

Smiling slightly, she followed him into his apartment, noticing awkwardly that Leonard and Priya where wedged into the armchair together, kissing.

'Please desist, I am about to eat' Sheldon commanded and, for once, Penny was glad of his demands.

Moments later Raj, Howard and Bernadette walked in the door, laden down with Chinese food.

Howard diligently replied the expected yes's and no's to Sheldon's interrogation about his food, and they all settled down.

'I thought Amy was coming over' Bernadette said sweetly, interrupting the eating.

'I rescinded her invitation' commented Sheldon, with no feeling whatsoever.

'What!' Penny shouted, her voice shrill, 'Sheldon, so help me!'

Grabbing her phone, glaring daggers at the idiot sitting next to her, she quickly tried to ring Amy.

When she got no answer, she shared a look of concern with Bernadette.

Sheldon had rejected her and then sent her away and looking over at him she could see that he had absolutely no idea of how Amy might be feeling.

'Come on Penny' Bernadette said in a hushed voice, picking up her bag and jacket.

They left quickly, Penny shooting a look of disgust at Sheldon, to go and be with their friend.

As the door slammed behind them three heads all turned to Sheldon.

'What?' was the disinterested reply.

_XoX_

_And that's it for another chapter. I hope you enjoyed it, please review!_

_Until the next time..._


	5. Chapter 5

_clint bolr – since in the show Sheldon visits Amy during his lunch break I had always assumed that she worked at Caltech too. I may be wrong…._

_A few reviews have mentioned how harsh Sheldon was in the last chapter. My excuse is, that he honestly doesn't realise how mean he is being. I feel he's always needed someone to stand up to him and tell him to stop, and go apologise – enter Penny…._

_Anyway, I hope you enjoy the new chapter! _

**Chapter 5**

_Previously;_

'_Come on Penny' Bernadette said in a hushed voice, picking up her bag and jacket._

_They left quickly, Penny shooting a look of disgust at Sheldon, to go and be with their friend._

_As the door slammed behind them three heads all turned to Sheldon._

'_What?' was the disinterested reply_

XoX

The day's after the 'great rejection' as Amy had begun calling it were strained within the group. Bernadette and Penny had gone round to Amy's flat half expecting her to have shrugged off Sheldon's words and for her to be arm's deep in her next experiment.

The drunken picture they had found was somewhat different. Amy had been picking up a few of her bad habits Penny reflected sadly.

It had taken many hours to persuade Amy to be parted from her bottle and even longer to coax her into bed. They had decided to tag team, and when Penny finally left in the early hours, Bernadette settled down for the long haul. The next morning, Penny relieved her and took over the care of Amy, who was no better.

It was when the weekend was finally over and both Penny and Bernadette had to go back to work that Amy really began to pull herself together.

'I need to go to work today' stated Amy mildly, rising from her bed, where Penny had been keeping an eye on her.

'If you're sure sweetie' agreed Penny, she would much rather Amy be at work with people than home alone.

'Yes' murmured Amy, mostly to herself.

So that day Penny drove her to work and just like that Amy's 'mourning period' was over.

Penny, however, did not forget it so fast. She avoided the boy's apartment, stubbornly refusing to go over there until Sheldon apologised to Amy.

The only problem being, Sheldon was just as stubborn as she was; meaning that Leonard, Howard and Raj tiptoed around them both as if they were bombs likely to explode at any moment.

XoX

'Sheldon, just say you're sorry' Leonard pleaded a week later, after a particularly uncomfortable hallway encounter with Penny. During which, Sheldon and Penny had just glared at each other, daring the other to say something, with Leonard just standing awkwardly in the middle.

'Why Leonard?' Sheldon enquired plainly, 'it is not like I am the one in the wrong. The error in judgement was Penny's alone. I no longer blame Amy, as her actions were merely a result of Penny's selfish goading'.

Leonard groaned in response, slumping down on his desk chair.

'You're gonna have to apologise sometime. You said awful things to Amy, and if you don't say you're sorry then Penny is probably never gonna speak to you again!'

'Since she never has anything significant to contribute to the conversation then I'm sure it won't be a great loss' Sheldon replied obstinately, and with that bid Leonard a good night and retired too his room fully intending to go straight to sleep.

Only he found he couldn't. After two hours and thirty-two minutes of tossing and turning, he decided to get up and have a mug of warm milk.

'Drat' he whispered, after peering into the fridge and discovering they were out of milk. Seeing as there was no other option, he steeled himself, picked up the spare keys from the bowl and walked across to Penny's apartment, his mug held in front of him.

He briefly considered the issue of letting himself into her apartment at night, before hushing himself and stepping quietly inside. Ghosting over to the fridge, he gave the milk a cursory sniff before pouring some into his mug.

It was as he turned to leave that he heard the sound of movement.

He had barely a moment to register it before he was flat on his back, the mug flying through the air and the feeling of weight around his middle.

'Sheldon?' questioned the voice above him.

Squinting up, through the eyes that had involuntarily shut, he saw the enraged face of Penny, baseball bat in hand.

'So help me Sheldon' she shrieked, 'I could have knocked you out! I thought you were a burglar!'

'Why would a burglar go for the fridge first?' he questioned, wriggling underneath her, trying to free himself. His movement only incensed Penny further, her legs tightening around his hips, trapping him.

'I thought I made it perfectly clear that you were never allowed to come into my apartment without my permission again! I still haven't forgiven you for the first night I moved here!'

'I needed milk' he argued, his hands scrabbling across her, attempting to dislodge her thighs.

'At 3am?'

'I couldn't sleep'

'Damn right. You shouldn't be allowed to sleep until you apologise to Amy'

The mention of their ongoing argument changed Sheldon's temperament immediately.

Moving up onto his elbows he brought their faces closer together in order to fight his case. But the movement caused an unexpected reaction in him. As his body slide slightly up, Penny's slide down and he could not stifle the involuntary groan that fell from his lips.

They were both wearing thin pyjamas for sleeping in the hot Californian weather and so there was very little material between their bodies.

There was no mistaking Sheldon's reaction.

Penny froze.

'Holy crap on cracker' Penny mentally whispered.

'Penny' whispered Sheldon, his voice strained, 'please remove yourself from my person'.

She did almost immediately, the fast movement causing Sheldon to hiss, as she slide from atop his body.

Wide-eyed Penny stared down at him breathing slow measured breaths as he lay on the floor, obviously attempting to control himself.

Finding her voice Penny asked the question she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer too.

'Sheldon, you said you have been attracted to women in the past. Are you attracted to me?'

'Not by choice' he huffed, rising to his feet, and retrieving his mug.

Penny wasn't sure if she should be offended by the comment itself, or the offhand way he had expressed it.

Dismayed and embarrassed they were both startled by the sound of laughter in the hallway, followed by shushing.

Walking over to the spy hole in the door, Penny watched as Leonard led Priya into his apartment. They were both sneaking and attempting to tip-toe, evidently believing Sheldon was still in his room.

'Leonard is having an overnight guest without my permission again, isn't he?'

The voice behind her made her jump. Turning abruptly her back hit her door as she attempted to jump away from Sheldon, who was standing directly behind her.

As Sheldon looked down at her waiting for an answer, he seemed to register their proximity as well. His ears turned red and he retreated, sitting down softly on the couch.

'Would you consider a brief cessation in our hostilities?'

'Huh?' Penny wrinkled her nose in confusion, it was far too late (or early) for words that long.

'Would you consider a pause in our argument tonight, in light of the events which have probably already begun in my apartment?'

Penny's eyes narrowed for a moment, before she sighed. She was far too tired for this.

'Whatever Sheldon'

Flicking the deadbolt across on her door, she shuffled back to her bed, putting the baseball bat back in position.

Seconds later Sheldon joined her.

'Thank the lord she could have a lie-in tomorrow' was Penny's last thought as she drifted off to sleep.

XoX

Soft fingers playing with her hair woke her the next morning. Sheldon was still in her bed, they were wrapped round each other and he was apparently awake and watching her sleep.

If it had been Howard or Raj (or maybe even Leonard) she would have been creeped out. But strangely she wasn't with Sheldon.

Later that day she would blame her actions on the fact she was severely sleep deprived and hadn't know what she was doing.

Sleepily opening her eyes and smiling slightly, Penny leaned up and touched her lips to Sheldon's softly and then pulled away. His whole body froze for a moment, before shuddering. The hand that had been buried in her hair, slid down to under her thigh pulling at her until their bodies where flush together, with Penny's leg wrapped around his hip.

The noise the movement created was unlike anything Penny had ever heard Sheldon emit.

'Kiss me' he demanded with a growl, his eyes boring into her.

She did as she was told and touched their lips together once more. This time Sheldon carefully reciprocated. Gently massaging their lips together, Penny felt something tingle down her spine. When Penny caught his bottom lip between her teeth he groaned again, pressing her further into her bedding.

After that their kissing became hurried and a little messy as they clawed at one-on-other, Penny's hands sliding across Sheldon's lean body. Soon, her own breathy moans joined his.

'Fascinating', came the whispered murmur Sheldon released between them.

The word shocked Penny back to reality. Shoving as hard as she could, she pushed Sheldon off her and he landed hard, in a heap on the floor next to her bed.

'What the hell!' she all but shouted, not sure if the anger was directed at him or herself.

Jumping from the bed she hurriedly shrugged on her dressing gown, her hands shaking slightly as she tied the cord.

Amy. Her mind reminded her sharply. Amy. Your 'bestie' Amy. Your best friend's ex. Amy. Amy. Amy

Pinching herself brusquely on her arm, she shook off her daze and glared angrily at the man on the floor

'What the hell was that about?'

'You kissed me!' he argued, getting to his feet.

'You where fondling me in my sleep!' she countered, rising on her tiptoes, attempting to match his height.

'I was doing no such thing. I was merely admiring the varying shades of your hair in the morning light' he admitted with a huff, causing Penny to momentarily pause.

'Oh…Well…I'm still angry with you about Amy!' she finished, folding her arms forcefully, 'now get out!'

He glared at her in return, and marched from the room, the front door slamming behind him.

It was only after he had left, did Penny sink to the floor in a heap.

'Crap' she uttered to herself. What the hell had that been about? If Sheldon hadn't said 'that' word they would probably still be on the bed kissing, or worse.

She was a rubbish friend, she decided. When she had woken up with Sheldon the previous week she had assumed his predicament was just the average morning issue every man (even Sheldon) had to deal with.

She would never have dreamed it was because of her. He was Sheldon, the whole world and their mother had assumed that he didn't get turned on, that he wasn't attracted to women and he certainly couldn't kiss like that.

Turns out she was wrong. Damn it.

The path her thoughts led her on, caused her to shudder in frustration. Why did he have to be attracted to her? There were plenty of other women, in less complicated situations. Amy had never done anything mean to her. Ever. She had been taunted and teased her whole life, and now just when she had found a friend, that friend had betrayed her.

Yes, Amy was uncomfortable and over familiar nearly all the time, but she didn't have a bad bone in her body.

Mentally berating herself she got to her feet and into the shower; trying to wash away her guilt. Despite spending over an hour in there it didn't work, and so once she was dressed she decided to go visit Amy.

The journey over there was uneventful, ignoring the uncomfortable encounter with the old lady from the apartment below hers 'You have an argument with your beau again dearie?'

It was as she knocked on the door too Amy's apartment that she got the second surprise of the day. Just as she knocked for the second time, the door moved away from her hand. Losing her balance she fell forward into the body that now took the place of the door.

'That's not Amy' her mind unconsciously supplied.

Looking up to the owner of the arms which where steadying her, she was surprised to find the cool blue eyes of Sheldon Cooper staring back at her.

Neither spoke, both clearing their throats with half anger, half un-certainty.

'Bestie!' a voice piped up from behind him.

Disentangling herself from his arms avoiding anymore eye contact, she moved around him to smile at Amy.

'Hi Amy, you alright?' she asked, glancing back towards to the door, only to find it closed and Sheldon already gone.

'Perfectly fine, thank you. Sheldon has just apologised'

'He what!' stuttered Penny, her mind racing, what did this mean?

'Sheldon text me early this morning requesting permission to visit me, which I granted. He then came over here and formally apologised for his words and explained the situation'

'What situation was that?' Penny winced, dreading that Amy knew what had happened this morning.

'That he, while finding me a stimulating and equal conversationalist did not harbour physical attraction to me. While admitting that theoretically speaking I would be the ideal mate for him, he has recently put more significance on the idea that 'opposites attract''.

'He didn't say how he had come to that realisation?' Penny pressed.

'No' replied Amy, a furrow in her brow, 'why? Do you know something Penny?'

Penny quickly considered, 'Nope, not a darn thing'

'Are you okay about all this Amy?' Penny continued, sitting down on Amy's couch, noting the sciency magazines on the coffee table that had been alphabetized and spaced equally apart, a sure sign that Sheldon had been here.

'You are quite correct in your astute observation Penny. I was not at first. However, as Sheldon explained, we are so alike in our tastes, pursuits and education that a match between us would be like forcing two magnets of the same polarity together'

'So, you're okay?' Penny asked, not completely following.

'Yes, thank you Penny. Although I wouldn't say no to a friendly, bordering on lesbianism, hug'

Still feeling somewhat guilty Penny leaned forward for the hug.

'Just this once' she thought, although withdrew quickly when Amy's hands began to wander.

'Penny, why do you have a hickey on the back of your neck?' queried Amy innocently.

_XoX_

_And that's the end again for now. I very much hope you all are enjoying where the story is going, don't worry, I'm gonna find someone for Amy. Constructive criticism is always welcome (especially since I don't have a beta)._

_Please review!_


	6. Chapter 6

_Hello again. I hope you enjoy the next instalment. Please review!_

**Chapter 6**

_Previously;_

_Still feeling somewhat guilty Penny leaned forward for the hug._

'_Just this once' she thought, although withdrew quickly when Amy's hands began to wander._

'_Penny, why do you have a hickey on the back of your neck?' queried Amy innocently. _

XoX

Penny had lied her Nebraska hiney off to Amy (once again) after the question and escaped from Amy's flat as soon as she possibly could.

It wasn't that she was purposely deceiving her friend, but she didn't even want to admit what had happened to herself talk about someone else; especially someone who would be hurt by the admission.

Only, she hadn't really thought the lie through. It was just as she was getting ready for her afternoon shift that Bernadette text her asking about the new man Amy had informed her Penny had.

''Damn' she whispered when she read it.

There was only two ways out of this, she reasoned during her drive to work. Come clean about the lie to Amy, or find a man by the end of her shift. The latter proved only too easy.

There was a guy who sometimes worked her shift, Todd Latter, who had asked her out a couple of times already. Tonight he had obviously decided was his night, third time lucky and all that, and asked her out for drinks after their shift.

He was alright company during work, and she needed someone like him to help the credibility of her lie, so she agreed.

She was even happier when he suggested taking her to a bar downtown, which she had heard was a celebrity hang-out and kinda expensive

So when they had both finished their shift they drove back to Penny's apartment so she could change clothes.

'Just wait here' Penny said, gesturing to the couch, 'the tv remote is on the coffee table, I won't be long'

She was as good as her word and 10 minutes later she was ready. She had picked out a short, halter neck, dark pink dress with black heels. She hadn't bothered with too much make-up, just a little mascara, eyeliner and lip-gloss. She had felt good when she checked herself in the mirror and she was pretty pleased with Todd's reaction when she had walked out into her living room.

She was just locking her front door, when she heard Leonard and Sheldon coming up the stairs, arguing about something that sounded suspiciously comic book related.

Turning with a slight wince, she was met with the hard eyes of Sheldon Lee Cooper.

He had frozen at the top step, staring at her and Todd with a strange look in his eyes.

'Hi' Todd said unsurely, recognising 'crazy hamburger guy' as he was known at the Cheesecake Factory.

He was met with stony silence from Sheldon, his eyes only narrowing. Leonard glanced at Sheldon in confusion, before replying the greeting.

'Hi, I'm Leonard and this is Sheldon. We're Penny's friends and neighbours' he supplied.

'Nice to meet you man' Todd replied congenially.

'Come on Todd, let's go' urged Penny, her hand guiding his arm. As they began to move Penny snuck a glance up at Sheldon and noticed his gaze was now trained on were Penny was touching Todd.

They had just reached the top of the staircase when Sheldon spoke.

'Where are you going?'

'To a bar Sheldon' Penny sighed, sure that nothing good was going to come of his questions.

'Does this classify as a date?' he queried further, his eyes moving up to meet Penny's.

'Yes, it's a date' she huffed, not appreciating the third degree.

'Will the full expectations of first dates apply?'

'What?' she hissed, getting more irritated by the second.

'Will there be the commonplace 'goodnight kiss' at the end of the assignation?' he pressed.

'Sheldon!' Penny snapped, struggling to keep her temper, glaring daggers at him.

During the exchange both Todd and Leonard were staring at the pair becoming increasingly confused.

'What the hell is going on?' Leonard finally interrupted, just as Penny had opened her mouth to argue further.

'Nothing' Penny said through gritted teeth, her eyes not leaving Sheldon's, 'Come on Todd'

Silently she turned and made her way down the stairs, the three men staring after her in varying levels of confusion.

XoX

Considering the foul mood she was in, the date had actually gone quite well. Todd was being really sweet. He had paid for all her drinks, and they had spent most of their time chatting at a table, rather than dancing.

It wasn't the babble of scientific banter she was used too (a daily hazard when you were friend's with genius') but he was fun and nice and talked about normal things like football and TV shows.

'It's late Penny' he said when they left in the early hours, 'let me walk you home'

Penny didn't argue and when they made it to the door, she didn't stop him when he leaned in for a kiss.

She knew the second his lips grazed hers that she wasn't attracted to him. His kiss was wet and rough (but not in a good way). When he forced his tongue into her mouth she felt her toes curl in mild irritation and nausea.

It wasn't his fault she reasoned, it just seemed like inexperience – something she could easily remedy. But when she tried to coax him into a gentler kiss, he didn't seem to get the hint.

She was just about to kindly push him away and let him down easy, when his lips were ripped from hers. He let out a cry of shock as he flew backwards and hit the ground with a clunk. Penny stared down at him for a moment, confused, before looking up at what had caused his fall.

It was Sheldon.

Penny's mouth dropped open in shock at the look of loathing on Sheldon's face. She had never ever seen him look like that, not even with Kripke or that guy from Star Trek.

'Leave' he demanded glaring down at Todd, his entire posture exuding aggression.

'What's your problem man?' shouted Todd, scrambling to his feet, meeting Sheldon body to body.

'I said Leave' Sheldon did not like repeating himself.

'_Holy crap!_' Penny's mind screamed. What the hell was going on with Sheldon? He was acting like….she stumbled around for the words. Like he was jealous, she finished internally. Leading her to the thought, that Sheldon was apparently jealous of someone else kissing her. Crap.

'Woah, woah, woah' Penny quickly attempted to calm the situation by putting herself bodily between them, her hands pressed against each chest.

'Let's just calm down'

'I will not calm down Penny' Todd all but shouted, 'this nutcase just threw me to the ground for no reason!'

'I would have thought my reasoning was perfectly clear' Sheldon countered, his tone more measured now, 'your pathetic attempts at seducing Penny were both repugnant and unwanted to her'

'Unwanted?'

'Yes, Penny was clearly showing signs that your technique was ineffectual'

Todd's expression became incredulous at his words, and turning to Penny he demanded 'Tell him I'm a good kisser!'

'Umm' Penny uttered, awkwardly.

Todd swore viciously in response, causing Sheldon's face to twitch; a sure sign that the normal, raised by a Christian mother, Sheldon was still there somewhere.

'So this was a waste of a night?' Todd asked slightly viciously, turning to Penny. Not waiting for a response he turned and thumped heavily down the stairs and out of sight.

The pair he left were silent for a moment before Penny exploded.

'Sheldon what the hell do you think you're doing?' she shouted rounding on him.

'Please lower your voice Penny' he said evenly, 'I have no wish to become a spectacle, by inviting every Stan, Steve and Larry out into the stairwell'.

'A spectacle?' Penny repeated incredulously, dragging him by the scruff of his top she man-handled him into her apartment.

'Sheldon, you just humiliated my date. You threw him out!'

'Were you planning on taking the relationship further?' he questioned patronisingly, his face mocking.

'That's not the point!' she shrieked. She couldn't remember a time she had been this angry at him and all the time he just stood there confident he was in the right. The sight only infuriated her more.

'You had no right Sheldon. What do you know about relationships or dating?'

'I know enough to know that kissing two men in one day could be considered horish!'

She recoiled at his words.

'Get out' she spoke softly to the quiet room and at the look on her face he did, closing the door with a click behind him.

XoX

This was different than their other arguments. Almost since the moment they had met five years ago, they had argued. They had argued about almost everything in their time. Yet, Sheldon had never said anything to her with the deliberate intention of hurting her.

During the argument about Amy, she hadn't altered her routine. She had continued with the same, with the thought that she could break him down eventually. She took every opportunity to glare at him and urge him to apologise.

But this time was definitely different. She had changed her shift at the Cheesecake Factory so she no longer worked Tuesdays. She also took more evening shifts so she would be out when he came home from work. When she was at home, she didn't go over to the boys flat, she didn't open her door to Leonard's knocking and she did her laundry at any other time apart from Saturday night.

Maybe it was due to their completely different interests, but it was surprisingly easy to get through two whole weeks without seeing or breathing a word to him.

Not that she wanted to speak to him. When she thought about his words, a sharp pang developed in her chest. She had always been reasonably free about her sexuality. But never before meeting him, the ultimate innocent, had she ever felt wanton.

She was embarrassed as well as hurt, she realised. Embarrassed that he thought she was the kind of person that would kiss two people in one day and mortified that she had, however briefly.

She was lounging on her couch one evening nursing a glass of wine (alright, a bottle) watching Next Top Model, when her phone rang.

The caller ID took her by surprise.

Mrs Cooper.

'Hello?' she answered.

'Penny. It's Mary Cooper'

'Hi, Mrs Cooper' Penny replied, unsurely. Why on earth was Sheldon's mom calling her?

'Hello darlin. I had one of those texts earlier from Leonard saying that you and Shelly are still fighting. I was just ringing to say, that I've ordered him to apologise to you. If he doesn't, just let me know and I'll give him another good talking too'

'Oh' Penny uttered, 'Thanks Mrs Cooper, but I would prefer if he said sorry because he was sorry, not because his mom told him too'

'I can understand that darlin' she sighed in a long suffering way, 'but you know as well me, waiting for Shelly-bean to apologise is like waiting for the second coming of our Lord Jesus. What are you kids fighting about anyway? He won't tell me'

Penny paused for a moment, unsure whether she should tell. Sheldon had apparently been reluctant to tell his mother. The hurt part of her quickly won out.

'Basically' she began, unsure of how to go about the explanation, 'he interrupted me kissing my date, and pretty much kicked the guy out of the building, and then called me a hore for kissing two guys in one day'

There was silence at the other end of the line, before Mrs Cooper asked a question.

'And who was the other man?'

'Sheldon' whispered Penny quietly down the phone line.

'Sweet Lord!' came the soft exclamation.

'Did he, and I can't believe I'm asking ya this, kiss you back?'

'Yeh' Penny said awkwardly, uncomfortable at the direction the conversation was going in.

'Sweet Lord' she repeated, 'I've gotta go darlin' She didn't even wait for Penny to respond before hanging up the phone, leaving Penny listening to the dial tone.

'Well that was weird' she told the empty room. Settling back down into the couch she continued to sip her drink. Worked had sucked today; three vomiting kids and two pain-in-the-arse complaining customers. She had been so relieved to get home and relax.

She was vaguely watching the tv when about half an hour later there was a knock on the door.

Knock, knock, knock – 'Penny'

Knock, knock, knock – 'Penny'

Knock, knock, knock – 'Penny'

She didn't even bother moving.

'Penny' Sheldon called through the door, 'I know you are in there. I can hear your television'

Still Penny didn't speak or move, apart from muting the tv, just swilling her glass waiting for him to speak.

'Why did you tell my mother we kissed? He rushed out in a whisper to the door. She only just caught his words and they caused her to pause mid sip.

'She is under the impression that I'm in love with you or some such nonsense. I have readily explained to her multiple times that love is just a mixture of society induced hokum and hormonal responses, but she wouldn't be dissuaded. However, I have been considering my reaction to your display with that Neanderthal, and have come to the conclusion that it disturbed me greatly to see him touch you in a manner I had previously done. Despite my mother's scolding, I had already determined that I should make an apology to you for using a derogatory word to describe you'

As he spoke, Penny had risen from the couch; her ear pressed to the door, and at his last she slid open the deadbolt and allowed the door to swing open.

'Say the words' she demanded.

'I'm sorry' he said in a small voice, his eyes round and honest. Penny believed him.

'Good'

'Can we return to our usual routine now?' he asked earnestly, 'I have found your absence greatly disturbing'

Nodding slightly, Penny felt tears prick at her eyes for a reason she couldn't quite place.

'Would it also be acceptable' he continued, 'if we amended our friendship agreement to include a 'sanctuary clause' from my apartment should Leonard choose to engage in impromptu coitus above acceptable decibel levels?'

Penny paused, unsure if he realised what he was truly asking. Should he come over again, she was sure that he would be expecting to sleep in her bed. He had been jealous of Todd, he had admitted as much himself. If he was any other man, she would have been sure he fancied her or more. He had said he was attracted to her, and she had to admit that she wasn't completely immune to him either. He was cute, tall and had gorgeous eyes; not to mention his wonderful hands. But this was Sheldon, her mind shouted.

'Okay' she agreed, looking up at him as he stood in her door way. She could swear something flickered across his face at her agreement, but as soon it was there it was gone.

XoX

Leonard's first indiscretion came two nights later.

The group was sitting round the table in the living room finishing off a cake that Bernadette had brought round. It was late; they had just finished a marathon Halo session. Naturally Penny had won and Howard was still sulking.

'Right, we're off to bed' Leonard announced as he and Priya stood up, 'see you tomorrow guys'

Penny immediately felt eyes boring into her, and shifting her gaze from Leonard her eyes met Sheldon's.

Nodding slightly, he gave her a small smile in return.

The group broke up soon after and Penny went back to her apartment.

She had already changed into her pyjamas and was brushing her teeth when Sheldon's quiet knock came at her front door.

'I left it open for you' she said as she opened the door, toothbrush still in her mouth.

'Penny please desist in spraying paste everywhere' he chided, causing her to roll her eyes and return to her bathroom.

He was already in his own pyjamas and glancing back out into her bedroom she saw him carefully folding his dressing gown on a chair, before sliding beneath her sheets.

_This is a dangerous game_, her mind whispered.

Shushing her thoughts, she climbed in alongside him.

'Goodnight Penny' he whispered

'Goodnight sweetie'

An hour later, she still couldn't sleep. In all the times he had shared a bed with him, she had never been so aware of him. His quiet even breathing. The clean crisp smell, with a hint of musk; probably an aftershave he had seen his dad use when he was a boy.

The warmth of his long body.

After so long of thinking of him as an ice-cold being with no feelings whatsoever, she was still finding it strange that he was just like any other.

Turning on her side to face him, she took in the smooth planes of his face. He looked so innocent while he slept; you'd never know what an irritating know-it-all he was from looking at him now. She giggled softly at the thought.

'Penny, please desist. I am attempting to sleep' he said, making her jump. Turning his head slightly, he looked over at her through half closed eyes.

Lying flat out on her back, she couldn't help but smile. Following her slightly, it was his turn to move onto his side. Looking down at her his gaze involuntarily moved to her lips. Noticing, Penny couldn't help but ask.

'Sheldon, do you want to kiss me again?'

He swallowed thickly before answering.

'Yes'

'Kiss me' she demanded, his eyes flaring at the memory of those words coming from his lips.

Rather than kissing her immediately, his hand reached up. His fingers grazed her jaw-line curiously before cupping her neck. Pulling her slightly to him, his lips touched hers. Softly at first, then more demanding. Their teeth clashed slightly, but he quickly adjusted. As far as she knew, this was only his second real kiss (not including the mouth-rape from Beverly Hofstadter).

For someone still learning, he was a natural. Penny's thoughts on his technique quickly disappeared into nothing, as he moved over her.

Sliding her leg up behind his, she locked their bodies together. Sheldon emitted a long moan at the sensation, which Penny quickly mirrored. Using the leverage of his body, she flipped them over, so she was sitting directly above his pelvis.

Leaning down, she pecked along his jaw, nibbling lightly on his ear, before latching onto the base of his neck.

'I would prefer if you didn't brand me like cattle Penny' he whispered, 'it would be somewhat difficult to explain to our peers'

'Point taken' she whispered back, moving on.

Their kissing slowed, becoming languid and Penny was forced to internally admit that she was really enjoying herself.

She shuddered slightly when she realised his hands were gripping her waist underneath her top. They loosened their grip when the kissing stopped, moving up and down slightly against her smooth skin.

Slipping to the side, and tucking herself into him she heard his breathing slow and soon after she too drifted off to sleep.

XoX

They developed a somewhat unhealthy routine. Penny was sure he had no idea of the implications, but she was becoming too caught up in it to care.

Weeks passed, and every couple of days Sheldon would appear on her doorstep, words of irritation of Leonard's nocturnal habits on his lips. She would let him in and they would proceed to kiss and sleep in her bed; both waking the next morning entwined and uncomfortably aroused.

In front of the guys nothing had changed. He still drove her mad and visa versa. They still had arguments and spats. He still demanded she drive him places, and they still did their laundry together. He still berated her for sitting in his spot and still sprung away from her (and anyone else) should he be accidently touched.

It was only at night he was different.

It was nearly three weeks after they had made up from their big argument, when Penny realised that over the last five days Sheldon had been in her bed every night.

The realisation had made her start, pausing in eating the Chinese in her hand. The movement went un-noticed by the boy's in-front of her. It was Thursday night (the first of the month), which meant it was 'anything can happen Thursday'. They (meaning Sheldon) had decided they were going to have Chinese then a night of vintage Super Mario games.

Unable to stop herself Penny found herself interrupting the conversation.

'So Leonard, Priya's been around a lot this week. Things getting serious?'

What she didn't notice was the look of panic on Sheldon's face. She did, however, see the look of confusion on Leonard's.

'Priya left on Sunday night…' Leonard said slowly, 'didn't you know?'

'What?' stuttered Penny, looking over at Sheldon. His face had turned brilliant red and his eyes were lowered to the floor.

'Why did you think she was still here?' Leonard asked in confusion.

XoX

_And that's the end of Chapter 6! The next one is already started so it shouldn't be too long before it's posted._

_I'm relieved to finally get this one out and up (especially after two whole weeks without internet!)._

_Once again, I'm sorry for making Sheldon such meanie. Sometimes his mouth just runs away with him._

_I hope you enjoyed it._

_Please review!_


	7. Chapter 7

_Hope you enjoy the next chapter. I hit a major wall while writing this, it's taken me ages to finish; having re-written it about five different times. Hopefully the story flows on. Please review! Constructive/helpful criticism is always welcome._

XoX

Chapter 7

_Previously,_

'_Priya left on Sunday night…' Leonard said slowly, 'didn't you know?'_

'_What?' stuttered Penny, looking over at Sheldon. His face had turned brilliant red and his eyes were lowered to the floor._

'_Why did you think she was still here?' Leonard asked in confusion_.

XoX

There was silence in the group, as all stared at Penny in confusion. Sheldon shot a look up at Penny, his face the picture of embarrassment.

'No reason' Penny quickly covered, 'just got confused. How are things going anyway?'

Thankfully Leonard accepted her words, and proceeded to talk about Priya enthusiastically.

He didn't seem to notice that Penny was no longer listening. She was in fact staring into space, her head spinning. For the last week Sheldon had been appearing at her door apparently pretending that Leonard was doing the nasty with Priya, when none of it was true.

He had been lying to get in her bed. She should be angry with him, and yet she only felt a fluttering in her stomach. A fluttering she hadn't felt since she found out Chad Longbright was gonna asked her out in 10th grade.

Sheldon was choosing to share her bed. He was choosing to kiss and cuddle her. He was choosing to be intimate with her, when he had no need to.

During her musing, she realised that Sheldon was staring at her anxiously. She decided to intervene.

'Sweetie' she said, directing her question at him, 'I'm having some issues with my laptop. Do you think you could take a look?'

'Certainly' he replied instantly, and with that they both stood and left the apartment.

'Is something going on with those two?' questioned Raj, looking at the door the pair had just exited through.

'Sheldon and Penny?' Howard commented somewhat incredulously, 'of course not. He's from Vulcan remember, he's Spock mark 2'

'Spock's dad married a Human' Raj reminded them, Leonard looking as disbelieving as Howard, 'and Zachary Qunito's Spock got with the foxy Lieutenant Uhura!'

'Whatever man, Penny would never get with Sheldon' Leonard argued, stabbing at his food.

'Then why would Sheldon help Penny out with her laptop with no argument on vintage games night?'

Neither had an answer to that, looking over at the door in bafflement.

'Huh' Leonard said, expressing the thoughts of all.

XoX

He had barely closed her apartment door behind him, before she had launched herself at him, kissing him for all he was worth.

It took him a moment to respond, still recovering from the shock. But when he did, he wrapped his arms around her so tightly that her feet lifted slightly from the floor. He's so tall, she mused, having never kissed him while he was standing up.

'You are not angry with me?' he questioned, when they finally broke apart.

'I should be' she said, giving him a measured look, 'but I'm not. Why didn't you just say?'

He held her in his arms as he spoke, not letting her go just yet.

'Say what Penny?' he demanded, his voice strained, 'that I would like to investigate further the idea of friends with benefits? Or that I'm greatly disturbed with how many allowances I have unwittingly allowed myself with you? Or how I struggle to concentrate at work, when all I can think about it your body sleeping alongside mine? You have invaded my mind without my permission Penny!'

Penny felt her heart give a quick, queer little beat.

'Sheldon' she said, pulling him over to the couch. He sat down carefully, before rising and settling in the chair he had dictated his spot.

'Continue' he instructed.

Rolling her eyes, she did.

'What do you want out of this Sheldon?'

'Please clarify your meaning'

'What I mean, Sheldon' she huffed, 'is do you want a relationship?'

'No' he replied immediately, before adding quickly, 'I do not believe I have either the temperament or patience to pursue a romantic relationship; as my interactions with Amy can justify'

Penny couldn't deny that. She had constantly felt sorry for Amy while she had pined over a man who had no idea what he was involved in.

'Fair point'

'Penny' he began, somewhat tentatively, 'I asked you once about the social paradigm of 'friends with benefits'. As we have already classified ourselves as friends, would you be amenable to adding the 'benefits' part to our relationship?'

Penny felt her mouth drop open a little in shock. Of all the things she had expected him to say, this was way way down the bottom of the list.

'I believe it will mutually benefit us both. Providing both of us with the outlet for our unfortunate bodily weaknesses' he argued.

She couldn't deny that she had enjoyed their make out sessions. The warm male presence in her bed had also been a comfort in the last couple of weeks.

But this was Sheldon. The idea of casual 'benefits' with him seemed weird. Almost like she was taking advantage of him. As far as she knew he was innocent.

She was over thinking she decided. What harm could it do? She was on a bit of a dry spell in the men department anyway.

'Okay, Sheldon' she agreed.

'Good. Now that's been settled, let us rejoin our friends'

'Wait!' she said, as he got up from his spot, 'I really am having problems with my laptop, can you have a look?'

'Are you going to be coming to me instead of Leonard now for IT advice?' he asked wearied.

'Yep' she grinned, cheekily.

'Good lord'

XoX

It was about an hour later when the boys knocked on Penny's door.

'Its open' came her voice from within.

Swinging the door open they were met with the sight of Penny's laptop in bits, Sheldon at the centre of the electrical component storm.

'Told you' Howard hissed to Raj, who looked confused.

'What are you doing Sheldon?' Leonard asked, relieved to find the pair doing what they said they were doing.

'I am fitting Penny's laptop with extra ram. She had already purchased a suitable chip on my suggestion. It is only a matter of fitting it, a task which is nearly complete'.

'So what's this gonna do?' Penny interjected, looking both bored and confused at the same time.

'It will dramatically increase you processing and storage capabilities, which considering your history with running multiple programs simultaneously can only be an advantage'

'Right…' she said, leaning back on couch, flipping though a magazine.

'It would more efficient if you mounted it here' Howard couldn't help but say, pointing to a spot inside the shell.

'That wouldn't work on this model' Sheldon replied, barely looking up.

'What if you…..' Howard begun, but Penny had already tuned out the computer talk. What did she care, so long as they got it to work.

It was while the guys were geeking out over her laptop that her phone chimed.

She walked over to where it was sitting on her bed. It was a text from Amy asking if she had a minute to take a call. Apparently Amy had some news.

'Hi Amy' Penny greeted when the scientist answered the phone.

'Good evening Bestie, I trust you are well'

'Fine thanks, what's up?'

'I understand it is protocol amongst girlfriends to tell all when one of those has had a wild night of intercourse with a member of the opposite sex'

'You what?' Penny exclaimed, causing more than a few heads look up at her in interest from the living room.

'Last night I engaged in a wild…'

'Yes, yes, I heard you the first time' Penny hurried, 'who with?'

'With one Dr Rajesh Koothrappali'

'Raj!' Penny couldn't help but shout. The doctor in question raised his head guiltily from her laptop, looking bashful.

'You don't approve?' queried the woman on the other end of the line.

'No, no, of course sweetie, just so long as you're happy. I was surprised that's all'

'Good. Shall I arrange a girls evening with Bernadette and I can tell you both all the details, as I understand is the custom?'

'Yeh, that'd be good. It's been a while since I've seen you' Penny smiled softly, with affection.

'Very well, I will text you with the arrangements. Goodbye'

'Bye, Amy' she replied, hanging up.

Looking over at Sheldon in the living room, she had the selfish thought that things would be easier for them now.

XoX

Somewhat unintentionally Sheldon and Penny didn't tell anyone about their 'arrangement'; Penny on purpose, Sheldon by omission. Omission was a style of lying that suited Sheldon best. For a start it didn't trigger any involuntary ticks.

Penny was just happy to keep it a secret because she knew what all the guys would say. They would make endless remarks and innuendos and she just couldn't be bothered with it all.

'Good evening Penny' Sheldon smiled naturally one evening. He had let himself into her apartment via a key which she had given him, but only on the strict promise he wouldn't come in to clean while she wasn't there. Cleaning while she was there though – that had her full support. Anything to get out of her least favourite activity.

She was already in bed, and she patted his side invitingly.

'I trust you are in good health?'

'If that's your way of asking if I've showered and brushed my teeth, then yes, I am' she grinned teasingly, 'come here Moonpie'

'Penny, nobody calls me Moonpie, but my Meemaw'

'And me' she added, reaching to pull him closer to her.

Leaning up she touched her lips to his, nibbling slightly on his bottom lip. Sheldon melted like ice-cream, sliding closer, pulling her against the length of him.

'And me' she pressed, releasing his mouth only for a moment.

'And you' he conceded the next time they drew breath. Breathily he returned her kisses, his hands sliding beneath her thin camisole.

Since the 'change in their relationship parameters', as Sheldon put it, he had come to her bed every night.

He had quite proudly announced that the recording of him sleeping he had set up in his room had effectively fooled Leonard since day one. He had made a habit of sneaking out after Leonard had gone to bed and returning before he woke up. Penny knew from experience that they would be caught eventually, but so far it was going well.

The only thing not going anywhere was sex. They had only ever kissed. She knew that the fact they were even kissing was a miracle considering his ocd habits, but as he had once questioned, she was a 'big ol' five'.

Deciding that tonight she was gonna try to take things further; she shifted over him, feeling all of him pressed against her.

Kissing along his jaw line and moving down his neck, her hands snuck down to loosen the drawstring ties on his pyjama bottoms.

'Penny, what?' he whispered, his voice hoarse with arousal.

'Trust me' she smiled gently, looking up at him. He nodded slowly in response, releasing her hands that he had gripped in panic.

Moments later he was exposed to her, and when she took him in her mouth he was sure he had forgotten everything he had ever learned. There was nothing except the feeling of her.

When it was over, they laid there together on the bed; Sheldon still breathing heavily and Penny smiling in satisfaction.

'I understand now' he said, when he had regained the ability to speak.

'Understand what sweetie?' Penny questioned, her hand threading clockwise circles on his chest.

'Why people are so obsessed with coitus'

'Oh Moonpie' she smirked, leaning up on an elbow to look down at him, 'you ain't seen nothing yet'

He blushed for a moment, looking as if he was about to speak and then changing his mind.

'What is it?' she questioned, leaning down to kiss his temple.

'Will you teach me to reciprocate?'

She felt her body burn at his words. Words that coming from him seemed somehow hotter. She didn't even bother replying, pulling him on top of her, and then pushing him down.

They slept through both of their alarms the next morning.

XoX

'Greetings Penny' Amy said as she stood at the door to her bestie's apartment, 'I must say you look dazzling this evening. Your usual healthy glow is simply resplendent'

'Thanks Amy' grinned Penny, her mind flashing back to what had occurred the night before and the reason for her 'glow'. She was one satisfied 'big ol' five'.

Bernadette had already arrived and was pouring out a glass of wine for each of them; half orange juice for Amy.

'So Amy' Bernadette said sweetly, 'how did you and Raj even happen?'

Settling down for some good gossip, Penny crossed her legs and reached forward for a handful of popcorn.

'It started exactly 10 days ago' she began, 'he emailed me regarding a frankly ridiculous suspicion he had about Sheldon and Penny'

Penny choked on her popcorn.

'Are you okay Penny? Do you require the Heimlich?' Amy questioned in a mono-tone.

Recovering herself, greedily gulping down her glass of wine, she brushed aside the concern and asked Amy to continue.

'Well he was under the impression you and Sheldon were engaging in coitus, which I quickly corrected' she said consolingly, patting Penny's knee, 'after that portion of the conversation had ended we continued emailing. We emailed every day last week and two days ago I invited him to visit my monkey'

Penny snorted into her wine at the last comment.

'Did he speak to you when he came over?' asked Bernadette curiously, hiding a smile.

'Not exactly' Amy clarified, 'he made various grunts and whines, not dissimilar to the sounds Archie the flat-nosed baboon made before I began his dissection'

'Ewww' Penny couldn't hold in.

'After an awkward first hour I asked him if he would consider satisfying my burgeoning libido'

'You what?' Penny exclaimed.

'We have decided to initiate a 'friends-with-benefits' paradigm. I am certain that it will be mutually beneficial. I will garner the intellectual conversation from Sheldon, my female companionship from yourselves and my sexual satisfaction by taking a lover, Raj'

'Are you sure this is a good idea Amy?' Bernadette asked, looking concerned, 'those kind of arrangements never normally work out. People always get hurt. Why hide the fact you are in a relationship?'

Penny ignored the squirm of discomfort as Bernadette spoke. She hadn't even told Bernadette about her and Sheldon, deciding that keeping it a total secret was probably best. Bernadette did have an unfortunate habit of telling Howard everything.

'What is your opinion Penny?' Amy questioned turning to her friend.

'Umm' she stuttered, 'well…' She struggled for words slightly, unsure what to tell the easily influenced woman in front of her.

'Well…when you were with Sheldon you were looking for a proper relationship, with dinner and kissing and hand holding, weren't you?'

'Yes'

'Well' Penny continued, 'what you've initiated with Raj, isn't gonna be like that. It will literally stay in the bedroom' _Like me and Sheldon_, her mind unhelpfully added.

'So you are saying I should ask him to be my boyfriend?'

'If that's what you want' Bernadette soothed.

Smiling to herself the conversation lulled, as Amy seemed to be internally debating pros and cons.

'Well, Raj is supremely skilled at The Oral' she considered, as if it was a game changer.

Bernadette and Penny exchanged a look and a shudder. They spent the next hour attempting to erase that particular mental picture.

XoX

The next day the entire group were sitting round the coffee table eating dinner when Amy and Raj broke the news. Well, Amy broke the news while Raj nodded enthusiastically.

'I have an announcement' Amy interrupted, causing all heads to turn to her in interest.

'Since my break-up with Sheldon I have found an alternative outlet for my feminine yearnings. I am pleased to announce that Raj and I are now boyfriend and girlfriend. You may congratulate us'

The genuine smile on Amy's face couldn't help but infect the group.

'You sly dog' Howard smirked creepily, slapping Raj on the back.

The remainder of the group congratulated the pair, so enthusiastically that anyone would think they had announced their engagement! Even Sheldon offered the pair a Sheldon type of 'well done'.

'What brought this on?' Leonard asked smiling.

'Since Sheldon's state of sexual neutrality was unable to satisfy me, I had to find my kicks elsewhere' was the reply, causing Sheldon to start indignantly.

'I resent that comment Amy Farrah-Fowler' he stated, his back ridged.

'Sheldon' she soothed in her own way, 'it was not intended as an insult. Your inadequacy has only heightened your intelligence'

Penny surprised herself by having to physically bite down on her tongue to stop herself reacting to that statement.

Sheldon appeared to be suffering from the same problem.

'Inadequacy!' he repeated agitated, his eyes flicking to Penny for the mere hairbreadths of a second.

'Are you trying to tell us that you're not sexually inadequate? Howard asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm and his expression mocking.

'I finished college while I was in my early teens. I was a guest lecturer in Europe when I was 15 and had completed my first PHD before that time as well. Believe when I say that there is nothing in my life that I do not excel at'

'How could you know you excel at sex, when you've never had it? You're the '30yr old virgin' Howard argued, clearly bugged, with a hint of his insecurities showing.

'While it is none of your business, when have I ever informed you that I am a virgin?' Sheldon stated, his voice icy.

'What?' Howard replied, shocked and slightly disbelieving.

The word quickly echoed by Penny.

'You're not a virgin?' she questioned, her eyes boring into him.

'No' was his only reply before he retreated to his bedroom.

XoX

_Finally got that chapter out! Phew!_

_Please review!_


	8. Chapter 8

_As always thank you all so much for the reviews. They truly make my day._

_I hope you enjoy the next chapter_

Chapter 8

_Previously;_

''_While it is none of your business, when have I ever informed you that I am a virgin?' Sheldon stated, his voice icy._

'_What?' Howard replied, shocked and slightly disbelieving._

_The word quickly echoed by Penny._

'_You're not a virgin?' she questioned, her eyes boring into him._

'_No' was his only reply before he retreated to his bedroom._

XoX

Ironically they nominated Penny to find out the details and she didn't argue.

She wasn't sure why she was so surprised by the revelation. He was a good looking man and he was nearly thirty after all. He had said himself that he had been attracted to women in the past.

She didn't follow him into his room though. Choosing to finish her dinner with the group and then, after Leonard had started talking to Priya on Skype and begun to make everyone uncomfortable with their canoodling, went back to her flat.

Later that night Sheldon let himself in.

'Oh?' he uttered, as he found her sitting on her couch watching television 'I was anticipating you already having retired for the evening'

'You gonna tell me about it?' she asked, looking up at his uncomfortable face.

'To what are you referring?' He feigned confusion.

'You know full well, Sheldon'

'Why Wolowitz consistently feels the need to validate his own ego by attempting to bruise my own I still don't follow' he commented, evading the question.

'Why don't you want to talk about it Sheldon?' Penny asked, shifting on the couch.

He sighed, in the long suffering way of his. Moving over and sitting down in his spot he gave her a long hard look for a moment.

'I'll fetch you a hot beverage shall I?' Penny smiled rising from her seat and turning off the television.

Maybe because she was out of his line of sight and so he felt less pressured, but as she stared busying herself with the drink he began to talk.

'You recall, during my promising youth I was invited to Europe as a visiting professor.' He didn't wait for an answer before continuing.

'I was also undertaking research for a paper at the time and I decided that after I had completed my teaching term I would go to Cambridge University in England to make use of their extensive facilities. I was there for a month and during that time I took up residence in the University's Halls of Residence'

Turning round, careful not to spook him, she placed the drink on the coffee table in front of him and silently sat back down again.

'The Halls of Residence are different in England. As you well know, or don't' he corrected 'considering your appalling education, while College dorms in America are mostly gender segregated, in England they are not. I was forced, against my will, to share a dorm flat with a girl. She was the only PHD Student staying in the halls during the summer break'

'You lived with a girl?' Penny couldn't help but comment with a grin.

'Penny' he chided, 'you asked me to explain this story to you. I would hope that your homespun manners would at least prevent you from interrupting me again'.

Penny poked her tongue out at him in response.

'I shall continue' he said sternly, his serious face looking all the more ridiculous for Penny's, which was still making fun of him. 'You asked once if I have ever been attracted to a female before. Beside yourself, I was attracted to Beth Cartwright'

Suddenly, and for a reason she couldn't quite fathom, Penny suddenly felt a rush of Jealousy. She quickly brushed it off as he continued, though her throat felt strangely tight.

'I believe the contributing factors of the close living quarters and the state of change my body was going through, I was only 16 at the time, led to the incident that occurred'

'Incident Sheldon?' she prompted when he paused longer than normal.

'I foolishly allowed myself to release my more primitive side and engaged in coitus'

Ignoring her wince at the use of that word, Penny realised one thing. Sheldon had actually had his cherry popped at a younger age than her. She never saw that coming.

Dying of curiosity, she couldn't stop herself from questioning him further.

'Did you enjoy it?'

'It wasn't repulsive' he allowed, 'however from what I remember, it was brief and rather messy'

'The first time is always like that' Penny smiled somewhat sadly, her thoughts flitting to her own first experience.

'I wasn't aware of any marked enjoyment' he continued, continuing to stare past her, looking directly at the wall across the room. 'I have never followed why Leonard, Raj and Howard obsess over the act. It is an average endeavour at best'

'Did you love that girl?' Penny asked levelly, weirdly dreading the answer.

'No, of course not' he scoffed to her relief.

'Well, that makes all the difference'

'So you are saying' he said, turning to her, 'that the partner in the act makes a difference'

'Of course, if you love the person you are with you enjoy it so much more. It can be wonderful'

He sat still for a moment, turning from her, mulling over her words.

'Then why have you spent the last four years that I've known you engaging in coitus with relative strangers. Did you love each and everyone one of them?'

His question knocked the wind from her from her and before she had a chance to answer he continued.

'You don't 'practice what you preach' to use the colloquialism'

She had no answer to that. Feeling a similar amount of indignation to the time when he and Amy worked out the amount of sexual partners she had had. They had been embarrassingly close to the real number.

'You enjoy our 'encounters' she parried, using air quotes.

This time it was he that struggled for words.

They stared at each other in silence for a long moment before Sheldon sighed unexpectedly.

'I do not fully understand what is going on between us Penny' his earnest eyes seemingly looking directly through her, 'I have been writing up a detailed study and I still cannot quantify it. It is most aggravating'

'What do you mean Sheldon?' Penny asked, involuntarily rising from her couch and moving to sit on the arm of Sheldon's spot.

The way he was looking at her, she would almost say he was about to admit...No that was impossible. It was Sheldon who had suggested they have this kind of relationship. This was all Sheldon was capable of. Even if, she now admitted to herself, she was beginning to want something more. Sheldon was not the man to offer it.

He stayed silent after her question. He too seemingly lost in his thoughts. He had the look on his face she had seen often. The look he had when he was mentally running through a thousand problems, frozen in front of one of his white boards.

'Penny' he said finally, looking down at her hand that had unconsciously rested on his, 'what do you hope to gain from our liaisons?'

She was unprepared for the question and had no immediate answer, so he continued.

'When I suggested that we shift to the 'friends to benefits' paradigm I knew what I would be getting out of the arrangement. But you, who have quite brazenly moved through a vast quantity of sexual partners (he ignored her growl), what would you gain from this? I am, I loath to admit, wanting in that area'

This was very different to the arrogant reply he had bestowed on Howard earlier that night.

She wasn't sure what answer to give him either. She couldn't put into words why she had agreed when he had asked her to become 'friends with benefits'. She had always hated that name. 'Friends with benefits'. What did that even mean? Who was this benefitting?

Yes, when she had first kissed him she had felt something. Something she was frightened to admit. The cat was more alive with Sheldon than it had ever been with Leonard, or any other man she'd ever been with for that matter. But until recently she hadn't even known he did kissing and sex, talk about a full blown relationship.

Crap. What was she gonna do?

They had both been silent for a long while, each contemplating their own thought, when Penny suddenly came to a realisation.

She was sitting half on Sheldon's lap. His arm was resting comfortably on her waist, her own around his shoulders, playing with the short hairs at the back of his neck. This was not just a bedroom relationship. They were sitting there like a couple.

They pretty much were a couple. She drove him places, they spent time with each other, teamed up to play computer games (they were an epic Halo team), she made him spaghetti and hotdogs, he took care of her when the money ran out and on top of all that they kissed and shared a bed. They were a couple and she hadn't even noticed.

Sheldon, uncomfortable with the silence finally voiced his thoughts and surprisingly they were not far off her own.

'Penny, I know everyone in our social circle considered Amy Farrah-Fowler and myself a couple, but I would like to clarify for you that we were not. However, I have become somewhat intrigued of late as to what a relationship like that would entail. Your ill founded relationship with Leonard, not withstanding, I have found I have become curious by the human compulsion to be intimate with someone and would like to experience it myself'

'Are you asking me to be your girlfriend Sheldon?' she grinned.

'Is that an agreement?' he countered. Things were never easy with the two of them. No easy answers. Always bickering.

She didn't reply, only grinned. Pulling him to his feet, which is no easy task, she led them to her bedroom and flicked off the lights.

The last time they had shared a bed she had told him 'he ain't seen nothin yet' – and she was right.

XoX

'Good Evening Bestie' Amy piped up from behind Penny making her jump.

Turning from where she was wiping down a table in The Cheesecake Factory, she saw that Amy was with Raj.

'We are here on a date' Amy announced, looking so pleased with the fact that Penny couldn't hold back a smile.

Leading them over to an empty table, she took down their order; the mute Raj pointing his out on the menu, as usual.

Penny busied herself with the other customers, trying to give the pair some privacy and it was at least an hour later when she realised that she could hear Raj talking. Raj was actually talking to Amy. She froze in her position of taking a guys order and it was only when he cleared his throat loudly that she came back to her senses. She couldn't believe it! She would have to have a chat with Amy about that later.

Coincidently she finished her shift ten minutes before Raj and Amy left and they found themselves walking up to the apartment together, all going to Leonard's and Sheldon's for a video game evening.

'Sooo, how was your date?' Penny grinned; the grin heightening at the blush that sprouted over Raj's face.

'It was most enjoyable' Amy answered for the both of them, 'we discussed at length the need to find you a suitable boyfriend so we can double date'

'Double date?' Penny questioned faintly.

Amy nodded enthusiastically in response, as if this had been her goal her entire life.

'We have been sorting through all the prospective mates of our acquaintance and have decided that Stuart from the comic book store shall be your boyfriend'

'Stuart?' Penny half laughed as they turned up onto 2nd floor, 'I've already been on a date with him. It didn't work out'

'That is of no matter. With your succulent body and sunny smile he is sure to accept our proposal'

Amy didn't give her a chance to argue back and spent the next few minutes singing Stuart's praises.

'So it's settled then?' Amy asked as they stepped into the boy's apartment.

'What's settled?' questioned Leonard, as he looked up from where he was setting out the controllers for their game. Howard and Sheldon were already sat on the couch waiting.

'Penny has agreed to date Stuart and allowing myself and Raj to double date with them' Amy explained, with a smile.

'What?' Sheldon shouted, standing before he even seemed aware he had made a move.

'Amy, I'm not gonna date Stuart' Penny quickly said, her face the picture of alarm.

'But you just agreed?' Amy was confused, as if unsure why her plan was not working out.

'No, I didn't. Raj tell her' Penny argued.

Raj looked panicked, his eyebrows rising into his hair. Looking between his friend and his new girlfriend his hands flew up in defence, pretty much saying he didn't want to get involved.

'Forgive me besite, I'm not following. Why won't you date Stuart?' Amy asked looking between Penny and Sheldon in confusion. The latter was still standing, stock still, staring at Penny with a strange look on his face.

Penny gaped like a fish for a moment looking between the group members and lastly at Raj who had a suspiciously smug smile on his face. The little bastard. He knew.

'I...I..' she stuttered, which only made it worse. It was very rare that Penny was lost words, the fact making her all the more intriguing for the group who all stared at her in confusion.

This was the moment she thought quickly. She either told the group that she and Sheldon were dating now or had to come up with a massively convincing lie. Though considering the last lie about a fake boyfriend had landed her in all kinds of trouble with Sheldon, and had actually led to them getting together, she wasn't sure which way to go.

So, she opted to pass the buck.

'Sheldon?' she asked looking up at him, causing the group to take their eyes off her and move over to him.

'Penny can't go on a date with Stuart from the comic book store' he said awkwardly, appearing to come to a decision.

'Why not?' Amy asked, still not following.

'Because she is my girlfriend' he announced.

The reaction he got to the statement was obviously not the one he expected.

They laughed. Not just a chuckle either. Howard was actually on the floor laughing, unable to keep himself seated. Leonard was hunting around his desk for his asthma spray and the rest of the group where laughing equally. Even Amy cracked a giggle. They were all laughing at Sheldon, expect for Raj and Penny.

'And what is so amusing?' Sheldon asked, his voice curt. This only set the group off again.

Penny felt a rush of something similar to when they had questioned what Sheldon was like in bed. She was annoyed and looking over at him she could see he was too. He face was set in a hard line.

They didn't answer him. In fact his words only caused them to laugh harder.

'I have to go void my bladder' he announced, turning abruptly. Only Penny and Raj heard the slam of the bathroom door.

'So what are we playing?' Howard asked once he had gained control of himself and soon enough he and Leonard were arguing over Xbox games.

They hadn't even questioned Sheldon's words. They had apparently immediately dismissed it and carried on with their evening.

Was it really that ridiculous? Penny asked herself as the group began to hand out controllers. It wasn't as if women hadn't shown Sheldon interest before. Only, she quickly realised, the boys didn't see what women saw. What she saw. What she loved.

Loved...

_She loved him_, her mind supplied.

'Holy crap on a cracker!' she exclaimed loudly, the entire group jumping in surprise at her outburst.

XoX

_We're getting so close now! I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please review!_


	9. Chapter 9

_It's funny how I can go from finding it really easy to write, churning out story after story, chapter after chapter, to getting completely stuck. So after a huge hiatus, this is the next instalment of A Pair. _

_I have finally started watching season 6 online. I'm fully aware of how Shenny shippers are hating this new season, but I have to say I have rarely laughed so much as I did when I watched 'The 43 Peculiarity'. Not to mention, how I nearly had an aneurism when Penny kissed Sheldon on the nose, in 'The Re-entry Minimization'. It's nice to see Sheldon becoming more accepting of human contact. It gives me hope for the future. _

_Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please review._

**Chapter 9**

_Previously;_

_Was it really that ridiculous? Penny asked herself as the group began to hand out controllers. It wasn't as if women hadn't shown Sheldon interest before. Only, she quickly realised, the boys didn't see what women saw. What she saw. What she loved._

_Loved..._

_She loved him, her mind supplied. _

'_Holy crap on a cracker!' she exclaimed loudly, the entire group jumping in surprise at her outburst. _

_XoX_

She had said that it wouldn't take long before they were caught. What she hadn't expected was just how soon it would happen.

They had become more and more bold, more and more reckless in recent weeks. It was only Sheldon's paranoia that had kept them in check.

The start of it had happened one afternoon when Leonard, Howard and Raj had come home early. It had been unexpected. They were lucky that Penny had been wearing a skirt at the time and had only to quickly smooth it back down while Sheldon stuffed her knickers in his pant pocket as he fastened them.

'Hi guys' Leonard greeted the pair who were sitting at opposite ends of the couch watching Star Trek Voyager.

'Hi', Penny greeted just as brightly, desperately trying to hide her flushed pink cheeks with her hair.

They thought they had gotten away with it until an argument had sprung up about the Justice League of America's logo and Sheldon had stood to retrieve his membership card from his wallet that had been tucked inside a certain pant pocket.

The boys all stared down at the lacy French knickers that had landed unceremoniously on the floor in front of them.

Their eyebrows seemed to knit in unison as they considered the variables of this incident. Sheldon Cooper. Sheldon Cooper with underwear in his pocket. Sheldon Cooper with lacy pink women's underwear in his pocket.

'Huh' Leonard finally expelled, looking up to the blushing face of his roommate.

'No, no, they wouldn't fit him. Too small' Howard murmured to Raj after the latter had whispered in his ear.

Meanwhile, Penny had frozen on the couch, not able to move, her eyes glued to her underwear.

'That's not possible' Howard said, half awe, half disbelief, looking up at Sheldon. He then turned his head to take in Penny's blushing face.

'Not possible' he repeated again to himself.

'Excuse me gentleman' Sheldon finally stuttered out. Bending down he snatched the knickers off the floor, and walked swiftly to his room, the underwear still clutched in his clenching hand.

'Yeh, I think I'm gonna eat this back in my apartment' Penny said quickly, gesturing towards her place with her food. Not very subtle, but she didn't really care and then she too disappeared from the boy's flat.

The three men sat in silence for a moment before Howard broke.

'Well if Penny and Sheldon are doing the nasty I'm getting him to choose my lotto numbers tonight. No man could be that lucky'.

'I can't believe he would do this to me!' Leonard finally hissed out, before both Howard and Raj gave him a look.

'Err, dude. You've been broken up for like forever now. Not to mention you're supposed to be dating my sister!'

Leonard had the decency to look chastised for a moment before he whined out, 'but still!'

'I can't believe he didn't tell me!' Leonard continued and once again Raj and Howard shared a look.

'He did actually' Howard muttered in reply, 'of course I didn't believe him at the time, but who would?'

'I would' Raj piped up; ignored by both of them.

'I think I would remember if my housemate had told me he was having sex with my ex!' Leonard's voice began to rise as he spoke, getting more irritated by the moment.

'Seriously, chill' Howard hissed with rolled eyes.

Raj and more recently Howard (with the influence of Bernadette) were beginning to find Leonard's whiny attitude to Penny more and more irksome. The general opinion was that the man seriously needed to move on.

'Don't you remember the other week. When Amy suggested that Penny went out with Stuart and Sheldon threw a hissy fit?'

'Oh yeh' Leonard recalled with a laugh and a grin, before his face dropped comically, 'oh'.

XoX

'How do you propose we deal with this situation?' Sheldon asked when he came over to her apartment that night.

'The jig is up, one might say' he continued, moving to sit in his spot on her couch.

'We knew this was gonna happen at some point sweetie' Penny reasoned, as she half heartedly attempted her washing up. What she would give for a dishwasher.

Sheldon watched her for a brief moment, before moving over, retrieving the set of rubber gloves her kept in her cleaning cupboard and taking over from her. She couldn't suppress a smile of relief as he painstakingly washed up her dirty cutlery with obsessive determination.

Pouring herself a glass of wine while he worked she forced herself to say the thing that would probably send him running.

'These are the choices Shelly-bean' she ignored the look he gave her, 'we either come out officially as a couple with everything that entails or we end it'.

He stared down at her as she spoke, attempting to look casual leaning against her kitchen island, while inside she was a quivering ball of nerves.

'What would the first choice entail?' he questioned in response, looking back down at the bowl of suds.

'You know full well Sheldon, I saw you looking at that Wikipedia entry on dating, remember?'

He looked irritated and torn and all kinds of Sheldon while she waited for his answer.

'Why?' he asked finally.

'Why, what?' she returned, her brow furrowed in confusion.

'Why do we need to define and change our arrangement for the sake of our social peers?'

'Arrangement?' Penny's voice rose in a way that had Sheldon backing away a few steps, 'you think this is an arrangement?'

'How else would you categorize it Penny?' his head tilted to the side in genuine curiosity, 'What else is there?'

She looked up at him in disbelief. She had fooled herself in the past couple of weeks, she realised. She had gotten caught up. She had thought that in opening up this man's sexual side she would be opening up his feelings as well.

She had thought they were on the same page. But she was wrong. They weren't even reading the same book. She was still standing alone in the romantic literature, while he was buried up to his neck in sciencey encyclopaedias.

She was an utter fool.

Still, she couldn't stop the words that spilled out of her mouth. Words that she had never said to her ex, the man currently asleep across the hall. The man that could have and would have offered her everything he had; willingly and without question. Instead she was cursed with saying them to a man who was staring down at her like she was something he would never understand.

' I love you, you know' a few tears slipping down her checks as she whispered those horrible words.

It tipped her over the edge when he looked confused and asked her 'why?'

She pushed him out of her apartment, shutting the door on his baffled face. Sliding down she didn't stop the stream of tears that fell. When she briefly pulled herself together she reached for her phone. With a quick text to Amy, she slumped over to her fridge and to the wine, her ever constant friend.

That night she fell asleep in Amy's arms, for once comforted by her friend's overzealous attentions.

XoX

'Where's Penny?' Leonard asked in confusion a week later. It was Thai night and it was extremely rare for her to miss out on free food, 'I haven't seen her in ages'.

Bernadette and Amy exchanged a look before the later replied.

'I believe now is the best time to inform you all of a change in our bestie's circumstances' Amy addressed the whole group, including Sheldon.

They all looked up from their food in interest. None of them had seen Penny this week, the girls excluded.

'Penny has decided it would be best for her to move out of her apartment' she paused a moment, while the group absorbed this information before continuing, 'Bernadette and myself assisted her in moving her belongings out of her apartment while you were all at work today'.

Bernadette jumped in her seat at the cacophony of noise that Amy' words prompted. The boys all shouting in alarm at their friends disappearance and Leonard striding out of the apartment and across the hall, hammering loudly on Penny's old door, not believing that she had gone.

In their distress no-one noticed a certain theoretical physicist rise quietly from his seat and retreat to his bedroom. His one sanctuary.

'Hey, where's Sheldon gone?' Howard asked a little while later, 'he left his food uncovered and everything'.

Howard looked a little freaked out as he stared down at the tangerine chicken, as if it was going to jump out at him.

Bernadette and Amy exchanged another look. They had made the decision that despite Penny telling them not to, they were going to have to tell the group why she had left. They deserved to know.

'Penny and Sheldon had an argument' she began, as the others looked on in interest.

'They always argue' Howard interrupted, before looking down in submission as Bernadette glared at him.

'This time it was different' she continued, 'Penny wanted to get away and we helped her'.

'But why?' Leonard interrupted as well, un-afraid of the small, blond, biologist, 'when we were going out we argued all the time, and she never had to leave the building'.

'She hasn't left the building' a voice behind them interjected. Sheldon stood in the hallway to the bedrooms, his laptop under his arm.

'Penny sent me an email. She has decided to leave the city. She's moved out of the city to get away from me'.

The small voice he spoke in reminded Leonard of the time Mrs Cooper had sent Sheldon a letter to tell him his pet dog had died.

Walking over to his desk the others watched as he placed his laptop in its protective sleeve, wrapped up the power cable and retrieved a certain notebook from his desk draw.

'Where are you going?' No-one was sure who had voiced their thoughts.

'To work' was the answer, as he shrugged on his jacket, pulling his messenger bag over his shoulder, his laptop safely stowed inside.

'But it's half 9' Leonard reasoned, consulting his watch.

'I have much to do. This dalliance with Penny has wasted enough of my precious time already'.

They would have all believed his cold words as the front door closed behind him, if it wasn't for the un-characteristic crack in his normally steady voice.

XoX

It took half a day's driving for Amy and Bernadette to get to their friends new place. The apartment was small, messy and in a poorer neighbourhood.

Penny was in an even poorer state.

So, they spent the whole afternoon with a white board (courtesy of Amy), a marker pen and as many ideas as they could come up with.

'Thank you guys' Penny finally said, as they sat around, sprawled on her sparse furniture. In the space of a couple of hours they had supplied her with more drive and hope than she had had in years.

When they left the next morning she turned to face her new home with the sense of determination she remembered from when she first moved to LA.

She could do this. She could live her life. She could make it worthwhile. Most importantly, she could forget the only man she had ever truly loved.

Biting back fresh tears she marched over to a box of her things and started unpacking.

XoX

Back in Pasadena there was a man, holed up in his office after spending yet another night on a air mattress, typing furiously.

And the heading of his current study?

'The Study of Human Relationships; from weak links to close bonds and their impact on social paradigms'.

XoX

_I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review. _


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